Category Archives: Divorce

Book Series – Chapter V – DOES DIVORCE DISSOLVE MARRIAGE?

REVEREND MlLTON T.WELLS  (1901-1975)

EASTERN BIBLE  INSTITUTE

GREEN LANE,  PENNSYLVANIA

1957 – (Public Domain)

 

 

FB profile 7xtjwNote by Standerinfamilycourt:    Rev. Wells was an Assemblies of God Pastor and served as President of the Eastern Bible Institute in Pennsylvania,  now known as the University of Valley Forge.

Our Lord Jesus Christ would have called his scholarly work, with its rigorous application of all the principles of hermeneutics to the scriptural texts on marriage “faithful”.

The author uses the term “Five-Word-School”  for those who reject Christ’s teaching, centered around Luke 16:18 and other scripture, that the marriage covenant is dissolved only by the physical death of one of the spouses; those who instead prefer to center their view around Matthew 19:9 according to the Erasmean / Lutheran / Calvinist rendering, in such a way as to contrive a “biblical exception” (except it be for fornication) to justify remarriage after civil divorce.  

 

CHAPTER V –   COMMENTS ON MATTHEW 5:31, 32

It was said also, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement; but I say unto you, that every one that putteth away his wife saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away committeth adultery.

It is important to observe that the context of this passage of scripture is a part of the Sermon on the Mount wherein Christ repeatedly quotes from a command­ment of the Mosaic Law or repeats a concept of the Old Testament setting forth the moral views enunciated therein, and then abruptly cries, “BUT I SAY UNTO YOU . . .  ”   and then immediately thereafter states a higher ethic of the same moral principle in question.

A. The Righteousness of the Pharisees Versus the Righteousness of Christ as Set Forth by Context (Matt. 5:20,32).

The moral standards of the Pharisees of Christ’s day were very low, for Christ said:

I say unto you, that except your righteousness shall exceed therighteous­ness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no wise enter into the kingdom of heaven   (Matt.5,20).

The Pharisees were strong on observances of minute, external rules of mens tradition.  Christ emphasized the inner state and motivations of the heart.  In verses 21-25, He showed that anger is incipient murder, and in verses 38-44 that a divinely sanctioned retaliation is to “turn the other cheek” and to “go the sec­ond mile.”

To the Pharisees, care to avoid an overt act of unchastity was the important thing.  To  Christ, the look of the eye and the thought of the heart were more im­portant.  To Him, the look of lust (coveting one of the opposite sex unlawfully) was adultery already committed In the heart (Matt.5:28).

To the Pharisees,  divorce was a moral convenience for greater personal hap­piness.  To Christ. it was a glaring immorality.  The Pharisees said, “Do we not have Moses ‘law for a basis for putting away our wives?  Did not Moses say:

When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.  And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife. And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement,   and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth. her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;  Her former husband. which sent her away may not take her again to be his wife, after she is deilled; for that is an abomination before the LORD; and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an lnheritance (Deut. 24:1-4)?”

B.  Moses’ Divorce Permission Abrogated by Christ (Deut. 24:1-4)

There can be no doubt that in Matt.5:3I, Christ specifically refers to  Moses’ divorce permission(Deut.24:1-4). The Master’s statements in Matt.19:3-9 and Mark I0: 3-6 confirm that fact.

How shocked must the Pharisees have been to learn that Jesus said, “It was said.. . .(referring toDeut.24:1-4) . …BUT I SAY UNTO YOU….” It is important at this point to notice the rest of Matt.5:32:

Every one that putteth away his wife,  saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away committeth adultery (R.V.).

Christ’s statement of Matt. 5: 32 completely reversed Moses’ divorce permis­sion. Indeed , He abrogated it.  By His sweeping statement He said  that a hus­band who put away a chaste wife “causeth her to commit adultery (A. V.)”  and he who married such a woman, whether before or after the husband married anoth­er, committed adultery also. This is clear because in contrast Moses’ divorce law ( Deut. 24: 1.-4) permitted such a woman to marry again whether or not herhusband had married another.  Christ revoked Moses’ temporary permission of di­vorce to bring humanity back to God’s original marriage law which was estab­lished in Eden (Gen. 2: 18-24). The permissive law of Moses (Deut. 24: 1-4) was a schoolmaster to bring men to Christ’s superior way of life.

Let us inquire more deeply into the reason why the “chaste wife” above was forbidden to marry another. The Scripture states that the husband who puts her away “causeth her to commit adultery… The question is this: why would she commit adultery by marrying another if her former husband had himself committed adultery ­by remarrying after divorcing her?   The answer is simply found in carefully answering other searching questions.  Was the husband’s second marriage a valid one according to Christ?  Did Christ approve of a man’s marrying   another woman after he had put away his chaste spouse?  Certainly He did not!True, the Pharisees did. Did the husband invalidate the marriage bond with his first wife by marrying another?  If this be so, then everyone who wishes to gain a di­vine title to another woman as his wife has but to remarry for any cause and presto, his marriage bond is broken!   By sinning,  He has established his marriage before God.  The ultimate conclusions to which the reasoning and logic of the FlVE WORD School lead are, indeed, frightening!  Many an evangelical pastor agrees with the author in his position in this paragraph but denies it in practice by officially condoning the state of remarried divorcees in allowing them to hold offices in his church.

If the husband in question did not invalidate his first marriage bond by marrying another, then neither may the wife marry another while her first marital union stands before God.  Indeed, as Christ said, she commits adultery if she re­marries.  Certainly the Lord Jesus did not teach that every so-called innocent might remarry while the former spouse was still living; in fact. He did not teach that any innocent mate could remarry.   He said:

Every one that putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery; and he that marrieth one that is put away from a husband commit­teth adultery ( Luke 16: 18 R.V.).

C. Divorcing   of   Adulterous   Mate   is not Approved   by Christ According   to Matt. 5:32.

Note that the sin of adultery is in the foreground in the context and text of Matt.5:32.   Its immediate context begins at verse 27, where Christ refers tothe commandment, THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY (Ex.20:14), and then immediately He lifts it to a higher interpretation than the Pharisees were wont to give it.   Was He referring to the lust of Pharisees forother wives more beautiful or more genial than their own when He said, “BUT I SAY UNTO YOU, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her [as did David after Bathsheba] hath committed adultery with her already In his heart”!  Then Christ shocks the Pharisees again by linking sin to the divorce action of a man who puts away a chaste wife by stating that such a man “causeth his wife to commit adultery,” and adds that he who marries her “committeth adultery. ”  Elsewhere Christ says that he who divorces her commits adultery in marrying another(Mart.19:9; Luke 16:18, 12).

Observe also that the sin of “putting away” (divorcing) a wife with the obvious purpose of marrying another (for that is the reason the Pharisees put away their wives) is likewise in the foreground. The right of a man to put away an adulter­ous mate to marry another is not in the foreground, nor is the right of the innocent divorced mate to marry another in the foreground.  Let the reader keep the verse in focus with its context and its true intent, and he will not fall into the trap of erroneous interpretation.

The main thrust of Matt. 5:32 states nothing about the right of a man to put away his unchaste mate to another.  The FlVE WORD School finds a self­-originated secondary thrust in the text and erroneously makes it the prominent teaching of Christ in the passage.   By emphasizing the exceptive element of the verse, they distort the purpose and intent of Christ’s declaration at this point.

Christ no more approves an “innocent mate’s right” to divorce and marry another by the exceptive element of Matt.5:32 than does the Apostle Paul ap­prove slavery in Eph.6:5: “Servants [Greek–doulos slave], be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fearand trembling  in single­ness of your hearts, as unto Christ.”

The exceptive element. “saving for the cause of fornication,” was not intro­duced to put Christ’s stamp of approval upon a husband’s divorcing his wife for adultery.  The right or wrong of it is not before the reader in the text.  The man who puts away a wife because of FORNICATION is mentioned only in passing to bring out the main thought namely, that it is a heinous sin to put away a chaste wife to marry another.     This practice was common among the Pharisees.

The reason for Christ’s introducing the exceptive clause in Matt.5:32 becomes apparent if one reads the verse without the exceptive clause.   It follows

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife….causeth her to commit adultery ….

The text makes no provision for an innocent husband to dissolve his marriage, should his wife commit adultery, so that he might marry another. The exceptive element is introduced as a qualifying clause to say in effect: “unless he previous­ly made herself a fornicator by her unchaste conduct.”  The man who puts away (rightly or wrongly) an unchaste wife does not  cause her to be guilty of her previous adultery nor does such action cause her to be an adulteress.  Christ inserted the exceptive clause so that the Pharisees would not understand Him to say that one of them would have caused his wife to commit adultery in putting her away if she had of herself committed adultery already. Whether the Wife in question had committed FORNICATION before or after marriage is not stated, if we are to take the word in its widest signification.

Felix L. Ciriot, Th. D. , in his book, Christ and Divorce, has stated:

The “exception-clause” occurs twice; in Matt.5:32 and again in Matt,19:9.  But the first time it does not, even by implication, give support at all to the idea that remarriage after a divorce given on the grounds of adultery is permitted. Thefunction of the “exception-clause” in 5:32 is quite different. There it is equivalent to the qualifying clause, “unless she has already  made herself an adulteress by her own misconduct.  The passage says nothing aboutthe remarriage of the husband.  What it says is that any husband who divorces his wife makes himself morally responsible for her becoming an adulteress, it being assumed, apparently, that she will either remarry or be incontinent outside pretended wedlock, and in either of these cases will have become an adulteress. The function of the “exception-clause” in this passage is, then, to cover the obviously exceptional case that, if she was divorced for adultery, in that case the husband will not be morally responsible for her becoming an adulteress since she was one already-the reason why she was put away. Thus the “exception-clause” in this passage has no bearing at all on any right of remarriage In the husband.

(Felix L. Ciriot: Christ and Divorce. R. A. Ciriot, 3006 Wheeling Street, El Paso,Texas, 1945,   pp. 3,4.)

The evil of divorcing a chaste wife In Matt, 5:32 is viewed from the stand­point of the dreadful effect upon the wife. The verb underscored in the phrase”causeth her to commit adultery” is one word moicheuthenai in the Greek. Professor John Murray of Westminster Theological Seminary has indicated in his text on divorce that the verb moicheuthenai is in the passive voice and that such gives the phrase this literal effect,   “he causeth her to suffer adultery. ”

(John Murray:   Divorce. Philadelphia, The Committee on Christian Education , The Orthodox Presbyterian Church, 1953, p.21)

The man is not in Matt. 5 :32  said to commit adultery (as stated In Luke 16: 18) in putting away the chaste wife. He is, however, said to be implicated In his wife’s sin of adultery, should she marry another after he has divorced her and married again.  She obviously commits adultery because her husband had no right to   divorce her. According to Christ, the divorce was invalid.  In the case just described,  the wife could not put all the blame for her sin of adultery upon her hus­band,  but neither might the husband be exempted or exonerated from guilt in this matter.  Indeed, the husband is morally responsible for her possible unchastity when she is put away, for it is assumed that she will find it so difficult to remain continent in her single state that she will unlawfully marry another. It would have been more difficult for an innocent wife of that kind to remainun married in Christ’s day than today, because she had been steeped in thetraditionsof the schools of Hillel and Shammai, which permitted women to marry again in accordance with their interpretation of Deut. 24:1-4.

A. S. Worrel’s translation of the New Testament is of assistance at this point:

 BUT I SAY TO YOU, THAT EVERY ONE WHO PUTS AWAY HIS WIFE, EXCEPT ON ACCOUNT OF FORNICATION,  MAKES HER COMMIT ADULTERY : AND WHOSOEVER MARRIES HER WHEN PUT AWAY COMMITS ADUL­TERY (Matt.5:32).

By the above statement Conservatives believe that Christ was In effect saying:

You my hearers, of the schools of Hillel and Shammai, have taken for granted that it is right to give a bill of divorcement to a wife for one (thecause of adultery) or for any cause, because of your interpretation. of Moses’ declaration in Deut.24:1-4, and have concluded the same that it is also right for divorced, chaste wives to marry again when divorced, BUT I SAY UNTO YOU,   that whoever gives a bill of divorcement to a wife causes her to commit adultery (unless she has previously committed FORNICATION: and in that case it is clear that the husband did not cause her to commit unchastity), and further he who marries the divorced wife commits adultery also.  By this state­ment I declare that the Mosaic permission for the divorcing of a wife and the remarrying of the divorcee (even though she be an innocent spouse) is not ap­proved of God, I have come to re-establish the law of marriage as instituted by God at the beginning in Eden, for such is the law of My Kingdom, the KINGDOM OF GOD.  The Mosaic law of divorce and remarriage is forever abrogated by me!  Therefore the divorced wife described above who marries again, and he who marries her commits adultery since their marriage is not valid before heaven.  Their union is an adulterous union because the marriage bond of the wife with her first husband is not dissolved.  Under the law of marriage of the KINGDOM OF GOD a bill of divorcement is of no effect in dissolving a marriage union.

Christ could have added, according to His statements in Luke 16:18 and Matt.19:8:

Every one that putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and he that marrleth one that is put away from a husband commit­teth adultery (R. V.).

Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Dean Henry Alford of Canterbury, in discussing the problem of whether the marriage of the innocent party after separation (on account of fornication) is for­bidden by Matt. 5:32 or 19:9, states:

Certainly it would appear, from the literal meaning of our Lord’s words, that it should not be allowed for if by such divorce the marriage be altogether dissolved, how can the woman be said to commit adultery by a second   marriage?  Or how will St. Paul’s precept (l Cor. 7: 11) find place?  For stating this as St. Paul does, prefaced by the words “not I, but the Lord, “ it must be understood, and has been taken, as referring to this very verse  [Matt,5:32] or rather (see note there) to Ch.19:9 and consequently can only suppose fornication as the cause.  Besides which, the tenor of our Lord’s teaching in other places . . . seems to set before us  the state of marriage as absolutely indissoluble as such however he may sanction the expulsion a mensa et thoro of an unfaithful wife.    

(Dean Henry Alford: The New Testament for English Readers, Chicago, Moody Press, p.33)                         

 

A considerable portion of the FIVE WORD School’s argument is based on the meaning of the word divorce as it views it.  The liberals of the divorce questionare driven to an extensive treatment of this word because they are in such poverty of text to support their position.   Indeed, they can ill afford to get along without the alleged support of Matt. 5:32 if it can be even weakly established that it is in their favor.  The FIVE WORD School cannot objectively claim Matt, 5:32 as support for the reasons already given in the discussion of this text.   Since this verse does not discuss either the right or wrong of putting away an unchaste mate,  the meaning of the word divorce here is, therefore, of no significance in settlingthe problem of the right of an innocent mate to divorce his unchaste spouse and marry another.

The divorce liberals admit that Matt. 5:32 is a very weak reed upon which to support their doctrine of divorce, since it has nothing within it like the phrase which follows the exceptive clause in Matt.19:9(A.V.). The phrase is under­lined [bolded] in the quotation which follows: “except it be for fornication and remarrieth another.” There is no declaration in Matt.5:32 which may be taken, even by implication to state that an innocent spouse who puts away his unchaste mate can marry again if the verse is properly understood within its context.

How do followers of the FIVE WORD School get around the problem?  In the first place, their circuitous and illogical method causes them to assume that their interpretation of Matt. 19:9 on an a priori basis is sound, thereby representing Christ to teach that He authorized an innocent party to divorce a spouse who com­mits adultery with the inherent right to marry another while the former mate still lives.  In the light of that assumption,   they secondly read their interpretation of Matt. 19:9 into Matt. 5:32 because it contains the word divorce in reference to putting away one who has committed FORNICATION.   They believe that the fact that 5:32 also contains an exceptive clause further enhances their a priori posi­tion.  Thus, presto, they apparently have two divorce texts allegedly support­ing their doctrine of divorce.

Followers of the FIVE WORD School would not have made such a glaring error had they proceeded differently,  but at the very beginning of their study of the doctrine of divorce they presumptively set up their view of Matt. 19:9 as an esatablished postulate.  This they did before examining objectively and independ­ently all the divorce texts to determine their separate meaning and ultimately from them to deduce the general tenor of the Bible’s teaching as a whole respect­ing divorce.  Hence their “postulate” reduces itself to a mere assumption made too early in the analysis. Too often in the Christian Church a teacher’s wish is the father of his theological thought.  See the full discussion of the meaning of the word divorce in its bearing on the subject on pages 121 through 124.

 

D. Marriage Bond is not Dissolved by Adultery

 

The paragraphs above indicate the fact that an act of adultery does not dis­solve the marriage bond.   According to Matt.5:32, the chaste wife of the text cannot dissolve the marriage union by divorcing her adulterous husband and thus free herself to marry another.  Under Moses, it was the death of the adulterer by stoning which dissolved the union and freed an “innocent party” to marry another.  It was death and only death “from the beginning” and not divorce which erased the union of husband and wife so far as Christ was concerned.  The Apostle Paul reaffirmed this fact in Rom. 7:2, 3 and I Cor. 7:39.  He clearly taught that death and death alone dissolved the marriage union.

Some of the FIVE WORD School reason that because the innocent spouse was freed from the unchaste spouse by the stoning to death of the adulterous mate under the Old Testament(Deut.22:22), that that fact indicates that God appar­ently considers an innocent mate loosened from his adulterous partner as truly under grace as under law because such an erring mate is allegedly reckoned be­fore God to be as good as dead when he commits the immoral act.  Accordingly, the securing of the bill of divorcement from the state is taken to be but a perfunctory requirement to certify before men what has been previously accepted by God before heaven.  By such a principle a spouse would today consider herself free from her marriage bond when her mate was thrown into life imprisonment for first degree murder because the Old Testament would have required the death penalty (Deut. 19: 11- 12) as do many states in our country today.

If the stoning of an adulterous mate in the Old Testament provides a principle for the dissolution of such a union in both Old and NewTestaments alike, then by the same token. parents today may consider themselves free from further respon­sibility for their incorrigible child (Deut, 21: 18-21).  Indeed, if liberal divorce theology is correct in its reasoning at this point, a parent of today is automatically released from further obligation to a child as soon as he manifests the character described above, for under the law he would have been stoned (Deut.21:21), and would thus cease to sustain any relation to the parents.  See more detail on the subject of this paragraph in the Appendix on pages 176 and 177.

Such a principle as the above would also mean that no unmarried fornicator, although converted to Christ, should be privileged to marry under grace, for al­though living in the new dispensation, he should be stoned to death, and is,there­fore, as good as dead to the privileges of marriage ( Deut.22:22-27). There is not a vestige of Scripture in the New Testament supporting such a teaching.  To the contrary,  Acts 13:39 assures such an individual that he may be justified from his sin by faith in the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ (Acts.13:39; I Cor,6:9-II). Christ did not, in Matt. 5:32 or elsewhere, state that when a wife or husband committed adultery the innocent mate should not forgive such an one and perpet­uate the union, or that he should marry his unchaste spouse over again because the adulterous act had automatically disolved the union.   Indeed, the union of such mates is still intact.  Adultery, therefore, does not dissolve the bond of marriage.   Christ does not say that it is a sin to forgive an unchaste mate and continue to live with him or her,  but this would be true if adultery automatically dissolved the union as many of the FIVE WORD School allege.

If it be true that adultery dissolves the marriage bond, then it would be wrong for a spouse to live with his unchaste mate for a single day. Happily, the Scrip­ture does not support such a thought.   If adultery dissolves the marriage union, then a man might cease to be married and not know it if his mate secretly committed adultery.   In that case, he would be committing adultery by living with an unmarried woman !!

(Andrew Telford: Why No Divorce.   Philadelphia, Berachah Church, n.d.)

A premium is put on adultery if it severs the marriage bond; a spouse unhappily married would thereby be encouraged to commit adultery or to make a pretense of committing it.

The above establishes the fact that it was not adultery, even under Moses, which dissolved the marriage union, but the stoning of the adulterer. Indeed, so long as the adulterous person lived, the marriage was, intact.  The severity of the law of Moses provided for the cleansing of the land of Israel from adulterous people through stoning.  Under grace, the adulterous spouse is given anoppor­tunity to get right with God by an extension of life.  His period of probation is lengthened because of Calvary.

The putting to death. of the adulterer or adulteress was not specifically for the purpose of releasing innocent mates to marry other spouses; it was to free the land of such pollution lest such evil become a destroying cancer in the society of Israel.   The Scriptures (Deut. 22 :22, 24) speak of the purpose of the putting to death by the nation of such immoral men and women in this fashion:

So shalt thou put away evil from the land.

If the FIVE WORD School insists that adultery dissolves the marriage bond, it is pertinent to ask why the union should not be destroyed for other flagrant sins which, in similar degree,   destroy the fidelity of one spouse to the other.   Some examples of such are persistent cruelty. criminality, and neglecting to support the spouse and home because of drunkenness or gambling.  It is important to remember that an isolated act of infidelity may be the result of a momentary pas­sion; but cruelty, neglect, or desertion are deliberate.  Certainly these must de­stroy the marriage bond even more effectively than adultery from the standpoint of human reason.   How can one answer this?   To such a question there seems   to be no satisfactory answer.

(Kenneth E. Kirk: Marriage and Divorce. 2nd ed. London, Hodder andStoughtonLtd.,1948, p.84).

The idea that adultery is the cause that breaks the marriage union   arises out of the fact that there is an overemphasis on the sexual side of marriage in this adulterous generation. It is made the focal point of the happiness of marriage, a kind of marital recreation. Rather, marriage is a vocation, a high call­ing from God for a purposed, life-long union in outpoured (agape) love, regard­less of the unworthiness of the mate.  Such love is Christ’s love, and has He not asked God’s children to love their mate as He loved the Church(Eph.5:25) ?  A marriage which is built upon and centered in sex is bound to come to grief. Even modern psychologists are deeply aware of this fact.

Many actors of the movie world, who have been divorced and remarried a num­ber of times are, as Billy Graham has said, ”living in adultery, ” even though their several marriages have been legalized by some state’s divorce laws.  The probability is that many of these people could have obtained a second, third, fourth or fifth divorce on the grounds of FIVE WORD theology, for does not this school permit one to divorce an adulterous mate and marry another?  And does not this school permit a mate to marry another when his spouse has married again?  The Hollywood practice of divorce and remarriage will be the practice of many in evangelical churches which adopt FIVE WORD divorce doctrines. This is prov­en by the fact that today so many professing, divorcee Christians are marrying again contrary to Scripture (Luke 16: 18), because they are strongly encouraged to do so by the loose divorce doctrines and practices of the majority of Protestant churches.   Not a few of these churches are evangelical in their profession of faith.

Indeed, men and women can secure bills of divorcement nullifying their mar­riages under state’s laws which permit them to marry again, but Christ did not permit men to do so.  And what Christ forbids as unrighteous cannot be made righteous by man!  Certainly Christians should not presume to secure divorces for remarriage from offices of a state when the divine government of God forbids it. A divorce parchment under Moses was important; it is not so under Christ.  He does not make allowance for any document which will dissolve a marriage for any cause.

Christ’s position is supported by the Lord’s action in the Old Testament (Jer.3: 1,8, 14).  Verse one states that the LORD pleaded for his adulterous wife to return, contrary to the provision in the divorce permission of Moses (Deut.24,4). Verse eight shows that He had given Israel a bill of divorcement for her adultery in accordance with His permission to Israel under Moses, but verse fourteen states:

Turn, O backsliding children, saith the Lord; for I am married unto you.  (A.V.).

Return, O backsliding children, saith Jehovah: for I am a husband unto you (R.V.).

 

The LORD of the Old Testament acted in keeping with the statement ofthe LORD Jesus of the New Testament.   He said:

Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so (Matt.19:8).

 

Note that the LORD did not look upon the bill of divorcement as the dissolu­tion of His marriage union with Israel, The FIVE WORD School replies that this statement in Jeremiah is but an analogy. That is right; it is a true analogy, and the principle still holds. However, was not Israel married to the LORD?  ls idolatry,  the spiritual sin of adultery, less evil than the physical sin of adultery?   Is it less evil to play the harlot with God than with man?

True, the LORD put away Israel and gave her a bill of divorcement because she was a harlot (Jer. 3: 1, 8) and had many lovers; but so much did He love her that He did not close the door to her return by dissolving the marriage by a di­vorce parchment, for as noted above. He said that He was still married to her, and that He was still her Husband.  He remained true to her although she long continued unfaithful to Him.  He asked that this message from His heart be con­veyed to her:

Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the LORD; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the LORD, and I will not keep mine anger forever(Jer.3:12).

The FIVE WORD School persists in viewing the reaction of men (spouses)to ADULTERY as seen under law. Christ would have us view the sin of ADULTERY and our reaction to it as seen under grace.

No trespass offering was provided for the sin of adultery under law; thank God,it is otherwise under grace.   See Acts13:39:

And by him [Christ] all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses.

 

The LORD Jesus said:

 

Pray ye…and forgive us our debts,  as we forgive our debtors…For if ye forgive men their trespasses your heavenly Father will also forgive you; But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matt,6:9, 12, 14,15).

 

Nowhere in Scripture does God fix for the race, as a whole, a period of so many weeks, or so many months, or so many years for them to repent of theirsin before He will be reconciled to them.  He is already reconciled to sinners who offend Him.

 

God .. . hath reconciled us to Himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation:  To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto Himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them (IICor.5:18,19).

 

God is reconciled to sinning men before they even turn to Him. He waits for them to accept His reconciliation and forgiveness, and does not in the meantime close His door of grace to them by fixing a universal period of five weeks, or five months, or five years, or twenty years during which they must come or forfeit the reconciliation which He offers.   Christ bids us follow the LORD’S example.­

Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee: Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift   (Matt. 5:23, 24).

If he refuses your readiness to be reconciled to him, should you close the door of reconciliation to him? This a spouse does by divorcing an adulterous mate and then marrying another.  Reconciliation is henceforth impossible.  Happily, God does not shut the door of reconciliation to a backslidden, worldly Christian who is considered an adulteress in His sight (James4:4).  God grant that the so-called innocent party may be as longsufferingl

The Word of the LORD of Israel and of the Church is:

A new commandment I give unto you. That ye love one another; as I have loved you,   that ye also love one another (Jn. 13:34).

May a Christian forgive another before he repents and personally acknowledges his wrong? What did Jesus say?

And when ye stand praying, forgive if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses (Mark 1l:25).

A true Christian forgives one who has wronged him before such a one even asks him for forgiveness. He is reconciled to him, like His Lord, before he returns to acknowledge his offense.

Back to Chapters III and IV

Continue to Chapter VI

Appendix

FB profile 7xtjw SIFC NoteRev. Wells is comprehensively on target here with monumentally important forgotten and ignored truth that would revolutionize churches today if the heresy of “biblical” grounds was contritely repented of, and practices changed accordingly, so as to no longer offend a holy God, and perhaps even obtain His last-minute mercy for our nation and government.  He does, however, make two points that do not have biblical support, or that directly contradict the biblical principles he is righteously advocating.  These bear specific cautionary mention:

(1) on page 27 of the physical book he states (while referring to Jeremiah chapter 3 text):  [ “Verse eight shows that He had given Israel a bill of divorcement for her adultery in accordance with His permission to Israel under Moses…”]
(We note that there does not seem to be support anywhere in scripture for any inference that God “approved” of Moses’ expediency, and in fact, Jesus’ mention of it in Matthew 19 seems to take a disapproving tone, to the careful reader.   Additionally, we shall see whether materials in the Appendix deal with the very narrow cultural circumstance relating to the Jewish betrothal period to which Deut. 24 actually applied.  This is not mentioned in the chapters of Rev. Wells’ main text.)

(2) on page 29 of the physical book he states:  [“If he refuses your readiness to be reconciled to him, should you close the door of reconciliation to him? This a spouse does by divorcing an adulterous mate and then marrying another.  Reconciliation is henceforth impossible“. ]
(Wells does not state why he made this remark, so we shouldn’t speculate, but if that which he has so meticulously supported with faithful principles of scriptural interpretation for the first five chapters is fully true, then neither the civil divorce nor the second or any subsequent marriage is valid in God’s eyes, and remains a state of continuous adultery subject to the loss of inheritance in the kingdom of God reiterated in 1 Cor.6:9, Gal. 5:21 and Heb. 13:4.   Rev. Wells seems to be stating a presumption while not (here) offering any scriptural support for it, which seems a bit unreasonable in light of all the arguments he has so authoritatively made.  It could be as simple as his personal doubt that a once-adulterous mate would ever be convicted by God to stand for their covenant marriage, once the spouse they wronged had entered an adulterous remarriage.  He could be implying that physical termination of the ongoing remarriage adultery, with reconciliation / restitution toward the only true spouse God recognizes would be “compounding the sin”.   If so, then soul matters less than the appearance of propriety and man’s sensibilities.   He seems to be also forgetting that “nothing will be impossible with God”, and that it is God who pursues a wandering spouse and changes the hearts of both spouses, unbound by any such circumstances.
To be fair, Rev. Wells did not live long enough to see such reconciliations and restorations start to very frequently occur in the faithful church, nor the prevalence arise in unmarried cohabitation entrapping spouses and producing children–as immorality proliferated far more than he could ever have envisioned prior to the unilateral divorce regime implemented in the last 5 years of his life.   He did not live to see how much more rapidly the resulting foundationless subsequent civil-only “marriages” fell apart than did the forsaken covenant marriages.  He did not live to see the move of God where disciples become convicted upon discovering they had married someone else’s spouse by these very standards, and they voluntarily exit the adulterous union.   In recent practice, neither a non-covenant “marriage”, nor non-covenant children in such a “marriage” has proved to be a permanent barrier to reconciliation of covenant spouses to the only valid marriage in God’s eyes. )

 

 

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7 Times Around the Jericho Wall  |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

 

Book Series – Chapters III and IV – DOES DIVORCE DISSOLVE MARRIAGE?

REVEREND MlLTON T.WELLS  (1901-1975)

EASTERN BIBLE  INSTITUTE

GREEN LANE,  PENNSYLVANIA

1957 – (Public Domain)

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FB profile 7xtjwNote by Standerinfamilycourt:    Rev. Wells was an Assemblies of God Pastor and served as President of the Eastern Bible Institute in Pennsylvania,  now known as the University of Valley Forge.

Our Lord Jesus Christ would have called his scholarly work, with its rigorous application of all the principles of hermeneutics to the scriptural texts on marriage “faithful”.

The author uses the term “Five-Word-School”  for those who reject Christ’s teaching, centered around Luke 16:18 and other scripture, that the marriage covenant is dissolved only by the physical death of one of the spouses; those who instead prefer to center their view around Matthew 19:9 according to the Erasmean / Lutheran / Calvinist rendering, in such a way as to contrive a “biblical exception” (except-it-be-for-fornication) to justify remarriage after civil divorce.  

 

CHAPTER III  –  THE POSITION OF THE FIVE WORD SCHOOL

 

A.   The Five Word School Builds a Doctrine of Divorce on One Text

 A  group of believers today as in the past, insist that the Scriptures teach the right of an “innocent party” to put away his adulterous spouse and marry another even though that mate is still living.  This group admittedly build their doctrine on one  isolated text, namely, Matt. 19:9 (A. V.)  and more specifically on five words (as in the Authorized Version) of the text.  Certainly it is fair and approp­riate that they be called the FIVE WORD School of Divorce, for without this text, and particularly its exceptive clause of  five words as stated in the Authorized Version,   they would have no support for their doctrine.

Rather than first collating all the divorce texts and then making an objective study of each before deducing a doctrine from their general tenor, the FIVE WORD School proceeds on the assumption that Matt.19:9(A.V.) alone provides the answer to the problem of the right of an innocent party to divorce an adul­terous mate and marry another while the first mate is still living.

Instead of bringing this text into the light of all the texts bearing on the sub­ject, they bring all the texts bearing on the subject into the light of their biased interpretation of Matt. 19:9 and insist on interpreting all other divorce texts strictly in its illumination. It is amazing that they presume to interpret the MANY texts in the light of the ONE text and not the ONE in the light of the MANY,  which has been the method of the Church of Christ over the centuries. Certainly this same group of evangelicals do not follow this method of interpreta­tion in other areas of Christian doctrine. They would be among the first to re­pudiate and decry teachers of cults who follow the principle which they them­selves pursue in arriving at their doctrine of divorce.

The reasoning of the FIVE WORD School is very much like the reasoning of ad­vocates of evolution. The latter start with the premise that evolution is true, and therefore conclude that the facts of biology, geology, and paleontology must support the doctrine of evolution. The FIVE WORD School starts with the premise that its distinctive interpretation of the one isolated text, Matt.19:9(A.V.), is conclusively proven and therefore, all other divorce texts of the Bible must fol­low the same interpretation, namely,  that all innocent parties have the right to marry another upon divorcing their adulterous spouses.  To a legally trained mind, this kind of reasoning is like a lawyer’s brief drawn to support his pre-determined conclusion.   Indeed they reason in a circle, for they use the conclusion to prove the premise.

Charles F. Kettering of the General Motors Corporation once said, “I have a friend who gave me a definition for logic.  He says logic is an organized pro­cedure for going wrong with confidence and certainty.”  This statement con­tains more truth than humor.  How careful, therefore,  must any teacher be in developing a statement of doctrine.  Certainly he must eschew the method of building a doctrine on an a priori postulate, or the teacher himself may bede­ceived by his own presumed logic. The greater peril will be that multitudes may follow the self-deceived teacher to their temporal and eternal sorrow.  The danger will be especially grave for those who follow an erroneous doctrine of divorce, for such may lead them to commit the sin of adultery, which precludes entrance into the kingdom of God  (I Cor.6:9,I0).

If the FIVE WORD School’s exegesis of Matt. 19:9,  standing by itself, were seemingly correct, it would still be unsound to interpret all other divorce texts strictly in its isolated light when the preponderance of Scripture states a position which sharply modifies what appears superficially to be the meaning of Matt. 19:9 (A. V. ). John Owen once said. “Error under the notion of truth takes firm root in the carnal mind.”  May God sanctify our minds that they may be kept free from error.

How scripturally poor must be a doctrinal school which insists on resting its case on ONE principal text when there is a preponderance of texts presenting the doctrine in a totally different light. It cannot claim that it has two texts upon which to rest its case because Matt.5:32 does not specifically declare that one has either the right to divorce an adulterous mate or to marry another when such a one has been put away. This point will be discussed more fully under the treatment of Matt.5:32.

Some members of the FIVE WORD School unwittingly admit the scriptural weakness of their position by accepting and appealing to some or all of the false assumptions which follow, and many more which will be discussed at some length in the Appendix under the heading A CHARGE TO THE JURY OF READERS.  There are twenty-one points under this section in which the writer has presented the major objections of the FIVE WORD School to the position of the Conservative School and has there given an answer to them.

 

B. Five Erroneous Postulates of the FIVE WORD School are Stated

The doctrine of divorce of the FIVE WORD School appears to be based chief­ly on five major erroneous postulates relating totext (Matt. 19:9, A.V.).  They follow:

I. The assumption that because the Pharisees understood the word divorce in Matt.19:9 to mean what it meant in Deut.24:1-4, namely, to dissolve a mar­riage, therefore Matt. 19:9 obviously teaches that an innocent party may dissolve his marriage for adultery and marry another.

2.   The assumption that the exceptive clause of Matt. 19:9 (A. V.) must modify the clause, ”and marrieth another,”  which immediately follows it, thus permitting an innocent spouse to dissolve his marriage and marry another.

3. The assumption that the Greek text which supports Matt.19:9 (A.V.) has been proven beyond any possible doubt to be the finally approved text, despite the fact that no true textual scholar would presume to make such an assertion and de­spite the fact that many outstanding Greek scholars have believed the variant reading, which is in complete accord with the context of the text in question, to be the more accurate one.

4.  The assumption that one principal divorce text Matt. 19:9(A.V.) must scripturally settle the right of an innocent party to divorce an adulterous mate and marry another.

5. The assumption that the almost intolerable situation of many remarried divorcees who profess Christ as their Saviour necessitates a liberal view of Matt.19: 9 , permitting at least the innocent spouse to marry again while his former mate is still living.

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CHAPTER IV –  A SURVEY OF THE SEVEN PRINCIPAL DIVORCE TEXTS OF THE NEW TESTAMENT

A specific item of evidence might,if taken by itself, prove an innocent man to be guilty, whereas the accumulated evidence that might be painstakingly in­troduced in a court, when viewed as a whole, would prove the seemingly guilty one to be innocent.

The proof of God ‘s existence does not rest on one or two evidences but on many evidences.  Any of the several evidences would not prove that the God of the Bible is, and is the Creator of the Universe, but the cumulative evidence from many sources within and without the Bible establishes that fact.

The cumulative evidence, both within and without the Bible for the Conservative view of Matt.19:9 seems to the author of this book, and to many others who have read it, to be conclusive.  It has been stated that a doctrine cannot beac­cepted as true unless it has been established beyond reasonable doubt. In that case, a far greater burden of doubt lies with the FIVE WORD School’s position than with the Conservative position. The pages which follow will establish that fact.

The cumulative evidence will show that the exceptive clause of Matt.19:9 and the exceptive clause of Matt. 5:32 do not grant an innocent party the right to marry another if his mate should commit adultery.

A.  Five Texts Which State That One Who Is Married   May Not Marry Another While His First Mate IsLiving

Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16: 18; Rom. 7 :2, 3; I Cor. 7: I I; I Cor.7:39.

With the five texts above and the two texts which immediately follow, we have the seven principal divorce texts of the New Testament. The text of  I Cor.7: 15 will be treated in the Appendix. The great divorce passage (Deut. 24: 1-4) of the Old Testament will be treated also.  It will be shown that it  has been ab­rogated by Christ.

B.  Five Texts Which State That One Who Marries Another While His Former Mate Is Living Commits Adultery.   They follow under two heads.

  1. Two Texts With Exceptive Statements Which State That a Divorced, Chaste Wife (An Innocent Spouse) Commits Adultery in Marrying  Another.

Matt. 5:32and 9:19

A statement of Ralph M. Riggs, General Superintendent of the Assemblies ofGod (1956),   is pertinent here:

There are seven New Testament scriptures on the question of divorce and remarriage.    In five of them (Mark I0:11;  and also verse 12; Luke 16:18; Rom.7:3;I Cor.7:11,39) the  Lord and the Holy Spirit definitely and unequiv­ocally forbid remarriage after divorce. Separation is allowed on the ground of fornication and (if the initiative is taken by the unbeliever) upon the ground of incompatibility because of one being a Christian and the other not. But in no one of the five mentioned scriptures is remarriage ever permitted but in all is distinctly forbidden.  In Matt.5:32 and 19:9 statement is made that no one shall put away his wife  save for the cause of fornication, and the state­ment continues that whoso shall marry herthat is divorced committeth adultery. To some people the inference is carried here that if an individual di­vorces another because of fornication, he or she is then free to remarry.  If there were no other scriptures than these in Matthew, such an inference might be taken and such a position maintained,   However, these twoscriptures al­ lowthis position only on inferential ground, and neither makes a positive statement that any divorced person may remarry.  In all of the five scriptures (referred to above) the absolute and positive statement made that remarriage is always forbidden. The two passages in Matthew must therefore be inter­preted as consistent with the teaching of the other scriptures.  It is only thus that we can get the tenor of teaching of God’s Word and arrive at a final un­derstanding of its laws. Thus, taking all seven of these scriptures (all that are given us in the New Testament) we come to the inevitable conclusion that al­though separation is allowed under some circumstances, remarriage while the former companion is  living is never allowed.  This is the law for Christians.

(Ralph M. Riggs: “Standards of Membership …” The Bulletin of the Illinois Dis­trict of the Assemblies of God,   (June   1953),   Springfield, Illinois.)

 

2. Three Texts which State That He Who Puts Away His Mate and Marries Another Commits Adultery, and She Who Is Put Away as a Chaste Mate Commits Adultery If She Marries Another.

 Mark 10: 11, 12; Luke 16: 18; and Rom, 7:2,3.

An extended, chronological treatment of the seven principal divorce texts of the New Testament follows in the succeeding chapters.

FB profile 7xtjw SIFC:  Can an adulterous relationship ever be converted to holy matrimony just by civilly divorcing to in order to legalize?   Find out in Rev. Wells’  Chapter V discussion of Matt. 5:32, next….

Back to Chapters I and II

Continue to Chapter V

Appendix

 

 

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7 Times Around the Jericho Wall  |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Book Series – Chapters I and II – DOES DIVORCE DISSOLVE MARRIAGE?

REVEREND MlLTON T.WELLS  (1901-1975)

EASTERN BIBLE  INSTITUTE

GREEN LANE,  PENNSYLVANIA

1957 – (Public Domain)

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FB profile 7xtjwNote by Standerinfamilycourt:    Rev. Wells was an Assemblies of God Pastor and served as President of the Eastern Bible Institute in Pennsylvania,  now known as the University of Valley Forge.

Our Lord Jesus Christ would have called his scholarly work, with its rigorous application of all the principles of hermeneutics to the scriptural texts on marriage “faithful”.

The author uses the term “Five-Word-School” for those who reject Christ’s teaching, centered around Luke 16:18 and other scripture, that the marriage covenant is dissolved only by the physical death of one of the spouses; those who instead prefer to center their view around Matthew 19:9 according to the Erasmean / Lutheran / Calvinist rendering, in such a way as to contrive a “biblical exception” (except-it-be-for-fornication) to justify remarriage after civil divorce.  

 

CHAPTER I  –  WHAT CONSTITUTES MARRIAGE?

The true definition of marriage is given by Christ in Matt. 19: 1-12 and Mark in 10: 1-12.  These passages will be discussed detailedly later in this book.   Christ based his ·definition of marrlage on the principles laid down “from the beginning”,  as described in Genesis 2: 21 -24. These principles did not permit polygamy “from the beginning.”  The man, of his own choice, was to “leave his father and mother”  and “cleave unto his wife” and the Scripture adds, “they shall be one flesh.” The taking of the wife was to be for life, for Christ said:  But   from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh; so then they are no more twain; but one flesh.  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder   (Mark 10:6,9).

The underscored words can leave no doubt that it was God’s intention from the beginning that man should have but one wife at a time, for the Scripture above states that the husband shall “cleave to his  wife” not to his wives.  Such a union of a man’s choice is a union which “God hath joined together”; as we shall see in the study of the harmony of Matt. 19:1 -12 and Mark 10: 1- 12.  Indeed it is not man but GOD who joins husband and wife together as one.  Neither the clergy­man nor the justice of the peace ties the knot. Marriage is not of civil political or human origin.  It was instituted by God in the Garden of Eden when God joined Adam and Eve as husband and wife.  God has not given any government the right to legislate any matrimonial laws contrary to His revelation.  Those who circum­vent the true laws of marriage by adopting the human laws of marriage will an­swer for it at the eternal judgment bar of God Almighty.  Any judge who dis­solves a marriage is dissolving it contrary to the law- of God and will himself answer before the ­true Judge of all men for his action.   Any minister who marries anyone to a divorcee who has a living mate will himself answer in eternity for participating in the sin of adultery for allegedly joining together those whom Christ has forbidden to be husband and wife.

Marriage is more than cohabitation between a male and female.   Christ’s statement in John 4: 17, 18 proves that fact, as do the many Scriptures of the Old Testament which affirm that an unlawful union of a single man with a single girl is fornication.   If,  however, one party to the unlawful union is married,  sin is called adultery.   The passage In John follows:

The [Samaritan] woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband.  For thou hast had five hus­bands; and he whom thou now has is not thy husband; in that saidst thou truly.

Some have supposed that physical union of itself constitutes marriage.   Christ’s above statement, “he whom thou now hast is not thy husband” makes it exceed­ingly clear that this is not so. It seems that she was a divorced and remarried woman because the men with whom she had earlier lived were called “husbands” by Christ.  It is unlikely that the five husbands died one after the other prior to her marrying the succeeding one. The spirit of the passage indicates that he was dealing with a dissolute woman who freely divorced one husband for another. The man with whom she now lived was not her husband despite the fact that she had married him.   Hollywood has many such women.   Indeed, marital union consummates marriage; however. the union is entered before that.   Adam took Eve to be his wife before he cohabited with her.  And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man,  And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh (Gen. 2:22,23a).    Note that Adam spoke of Eve as bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh (ONE FLESH) before he went in to her. This was true because her body was made of his body, her flesh of his flesh; and this was obviously before coitus.  In this light a woman becomes a man’s wife from the time  that he publicly takes her, law­fully before men and lawfully before God, to be such.  Any other view is both unscriptural and unacceptable to all serious thinking individuals, whether Chris­tian or non-Christian, To accept another view is to accept promiscuity, prostitution, and polygamy with all their polluting and degenerating customs, vile prac­tices, and evil consequences. No thinking parent would want his son or daughter to become a victim of such a society. The all-wise God provided that marriage should be socially and morally exalting by making it a life long union before God and man.

Other Scriptures show that both in the Old and New Testaments a betrothed woman was considered to be a man’s wife before marriage was consummated in coitus. See pages 61 through 62 for a more detailed discussion of this matter. The fact that a man who cohabited with a betrothed damsel (against her will) was put to death under Moses indicates that fleshly union did not of itself con­ stitute marriage; neither is there a suggestion in the Scripture (Deut, 22:25) that such a young woman was not still the wife of her husband despite her unfortunate and grievous experience,  In fact, the young man in question would not have been put to death had she been an unbetrothed damsel (Deut.22:28, 29).  Deut.22 :24 states that the man who commits fornication with a damsel that is be­trothed has “humbled his neighbor’s wife.”  Matthew’s Gospel confirms muchofthe above. Joseph was deeply distressed that Mary, the virgin, was with childbefore he cohabited with her. He would have “put her away priv!ly (Matt. I :19) had not the angel of the Lord appeared unto him and said, “Joseph ..fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife; for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost” (Matt. l :20).  Verse 24 adds, “Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him,and took unto him his wife…There is no doubt, therefore, that a betrothed woman was known in a Biblical sense to be the wife of a man before he “knew her” in the intimacies of consummated marriage. Even in modem society a woman is known and recognized as a man’s wife immediately after the wedding ceremony before coitus.  In fact, should such a husband be killed on the same day before coitus. the wife would have legal rights to a wife’s share of his property. This is common to the laws of most Western nations.  A man or woman cannot expect to be (nor are they later) properly united when they take their vows of matrimony unless they expect to give to each other conjugal rights.

The Biblical idea of marriage provides for a stable home and the interests of the children of that home .It is not a mere human contract which may be scrapped whenever one or the other may choose.  Such a contract would permit divorce by withdrawal of either spouse from the contract upon dissatisfaction with the man­made union. The tiny sect of early Christians were in the midst of a society which practiced that kind of marriage. They were bold to teach and practice Christ’s teaching respecting marriage and, as a result, revolutionized marriage in the civilized world in subsequent generations. The early Church created a new conception of a monogamous lifelong marriage.  It insisted that such was God’s law and that its members conform to that belief. The fact that their be­lief and practice transformed society’s view and practice of marriage throughout the civilized world can only be accounted for by the fact that it came from the teaching of the divine  Lord,  It is not strange, therefore, that for many genera­tions most Christian churches have had within their marriage ceremony, at leastin substance, the following words:

I, B.,take thee C. .to be my wedded (wife)(husband), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death   do  us part,  according to God “s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth,

Unregenerated men of the day teach that when the partners cease to love one another, marriage may cease. Christ, to the contrary, taught that when sentimental love ceased to be felt, the marriage union continued. In fact, the Scrip­tures are plain; the union of a male and female is a real marriage whether or not”falling in love” was the origin of it.  Adam did not find his wife; God brought her to him.  Isaac had no opportunity to “fall in love” with Rebekah; she was chosen by Abraharn through Eliezer for his son.  Such arrangements were common in Bible times and are common today over a large part of the world. Indeed, love may exist apart from marriage and marriage apart from love.   Hollywood has debased and prostituted the meaning of love. They have given it a purely sensual and selfish meaning. The movie world suggests that when you become “fed up” with the girl you married, you may drop her, because you are  no longer gratified with her.  Sex is the center and circumference of marriage on the screen, and.unfortunately the screen in theater and home has set the stand­ards o f marriage for a very large segment of American society and has subtly in­filtrated the thinking and standards even of evangelicals.

There are three Greek words for love: eros , philia, and agape.  The first is centered in sex and sex atttaction. It seeks its lover for its own gratification and fulfillment.  The second, philia, is the word which best explains friendship. It means a mutual sharing of common interests, attrations and ideals.  Each lives for the other while the other is loyal and true.   It is based on reciprocity.  I love you for you fondly love me.”Let the fondness of either of the two cease and the philia ceases to carry through.   The last of the three words, has within it the spirit of altruism. and selflessness. The word describes the love of  God which is commended to mankind in spite of his sinfulness. adulteries, dishonesties, hates, bitternesses, infidelity, and unfaithfulness.  SeeRom.5:6-10.  Gods aid to Israel,

“I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee” (Jer.31:3).

The last kind of love (agape) Christ expects to be existent in marriage. “Hus­ bands, love your wives.   Even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Eph.5:25). This kind of love persists in showing itself to one who neither merits nor deserves it.   True, the love of eros and philia are not superseded by agape; they are enriched and dominated bythe latter which is God-like.  The spouse is loved for his or her own sake and for God’s sake.  Human standards of love are set aside for God’s.   Marriage in this sense of love as instituted at the beginning is lifelong and exclusive.  It Is indeed, in the sight of heaven, indis­soluble!

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CHAPTER II  –  BASIC RULES OF SCRIPTURAL INTERPRETATION WHICH ARE UNIVERSALLY ACCEPT BY EVANGELICAL CHURCHES OF THE PAST AND PRESENT

A.  Maxims and Principles of Interpretation Follow

Bernard Ramm presents the following in his text entitled,  Protestant Biblical Interpretation:

(Bernard Ramm:   Protestant Biblical Interpretation.   Boston, W. A. Wilde Company, 1950, pp.78-96)­

A  LIST OF GENERAL HERMENEUTICAL MAXIMS

( I) The Bible is to be interpreted in view of the fact that it is an        accommodation of divine truth to the human mind.

(2)  We must interpret the Bible with the realization that it is a progressive revelation becoming more clear as it nears the completion.

(3)   Our interpretations must keep a sound historical basis,  i.e. our inter­pretatlons must not create an historlcal blunder.

(4)  In our interpretation we must discover the meaning of a            passage, not attribute one to it a priori.   Happy is the man who can approach his Bible as free from predilections, prejudices, and biases as it is possible to do, humanly speaking. Too often the Bible is approached with stock­ in·trade or mere traditional interpretations.   But the task of the inter­preter is to determine the meaning of the Bible, not to verify his preju­dices.

(5)   Give preference  to  the clearest   and   most   evident   interpretation of a passage.   Frequently the interpreter is confronted with two equally probable interpretations as far as grammatical rules are concerned.  One is a strain upon our credulity. while the other makes good sense. We are to choose that one which makes the best sense and imposes the least strain on our credulity.

(6)  No statement should be interpreted as having  more  than one meaning unless unusually strong reasons warrant.   One of  the most persistent hermeneutlcal sins is to put two interpretations on one passage of Scripture breaking the force of the literal meaning and obscuring the Word of God.

(7)   Interpretation is one; application is many.

(8)  Interpret the Bible harmonistically. This Is based on the belief in the veracity of Scripture. Therefore, the Christian interpreter seeks to in­terpret the Bible free from all contradictions.  He will sympathetically endeavor to adjust all parts of the Bible to each other so there will be a consistent system.

(9)  Everything  essential in Scripture is clearly revealed,   This principle maintains that if a truth is an essential teaching of the Bible we need not scour the Bible to find it, nor will it be taught In one passing reference. ….The basic manner in which this principle is violated is as follows: a certain point of theological debate arises and its scriptural­ness is questioned.   The defender of the view then proceeds to find a verse or passage that has a verbal or perhaps even conceptual reference to his doctrine.   The defender proceeds to invest the verse or passage with the doctrine o r dogma he is defending.  Having found a peg on which  to  hang his doctrine. he considers it Scriptural.

We may consider something Scripturally proved when the very body of the concept is found in the Bible itself; not when we can find a peg to hang a doctrine upon.

( 10) All interpretations must be grounded in the original languages if they are to pass as accurate and factual interpretations.

(11) Ignorance as to the meaning  of some passages  must be admitted.

(12) Obscure passages mu:st give right of way to clear passages. There is the danger and temptation to invest a passage of very dubious meaning with far greater content than it will bear.

(13) Check all interpretations by referring them to secular studies,  a doc­trinal system, and the great efforts of the past.

(14) Finally, the Old Testament must be continuously searched for help in interpreting the New Testament

(Lewis Sperry Chafer: Systematic Theology, Vol. I. Dallas, Texas, Dallas Seminary Press, 1947. p 8);

Leading theologians of the day accept the following as a fundamental prin­ciple of interpretation:

Induction is distinctly the scriptural method of interpretation. Such in­ductions are imperfect when some but not all the texts bearing on a given subject are made the foundation of a doctrinal declaration.

The following principle is universally accepted by evangelical teachers:

The consensus of opinion of Bible Scholars is against founding a doctrine upon an isolated verse of Scripture when the preponderance of Scripture states otherwise.  No one should ever attempt to bring the general tenor of Scrip­ture to the terms of an isolated verse, but should rather call the isolated verse to the terms of the broader teaching of Scripture on a given subject.

B.  The Law of Witnesses is Plain.

In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established (IICor. 13:1).

C. The Treatment of Contexts Is Important.

  1. General Principles of Contexts and Their Abuses

It is also an accepted rule of true interpretation that every text should be understood in the light of its context or contexts. Every verse of Scripture or phrase of Scripture has both a limited context and a general context. The statements immediately before and after a given verse of Scripture which bear on the same subject are its limited context. The position that the text holds in reference to the book in which it is found is likewise important. The general context em­braces both the book in which the text is found and its relationship to the gen­eral tenor of Scripture found in THE BOOK, the Holy Scriptures,  as a whole.

Bernard Ramm has shown the importance of a context in this statement:

Just as a knowledge of each individual word falls to yield the meaning of a sentence and recourse must be made to grammar, so at times when all the grammatical data are known the sentence is still uninterpreted.  For example, the word nature has several major meanings in the English language as a con­sultation of any unabridged dictionary will reveal.  What the word means in any given sentence can only be determined by the context.  So the study of the context takes its place with the study of words and grammar as absolutely is very conscious of contexts.

It is striking that the contexts of Scriptures which support the Conservative School of Divorce are attacked by the FIVE WORD School to discredit their having any validity as a support for texts of Scripture which speak strongly for the Conserva­tive position of divorce.  Examples of the practice of the FIVE WORD School in this regard will follow later.

 

2. Context of Parallel Accounts in the Gospel

A full treatment of this subject will appear under the introduction to the har­mony of the two divorce accounts, Matt. 19: 1-12 and Mark 10:1-12.

D.  The Presumption of Establishing  a  Doctrine upon One Text is Revealed

There is a wide difference of opinion in the Church of Christ between the Ar­minian and Calvinistic schools of theology respecting the eternal security of the Christian believer, yet neither of these schools presumes to build their doctrine upon one text.  Neither do opposing schools, which differ widely respecting their views of the baptism of the Holy Spirit, pre-millenialism, the time of the rapture of the Church, and the doctrine of sanctification, presume to build their doctrine on one text.

Think of the presumption of either an individual or group that would seek to establish a doctrine of the absolute humanity of Christ. to the utter exclusion of his deity, on ONE text,   namely,   I Tim. 2:5:

For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men. the   man  Christ Jesus.

The statement of this text that Christ is a man must be modified in the light of a preponderance of Scriptures which show Him to be deity as well as man.

Think of the presumption of either an individual or group that would seek to establish a doctrine that human teachers are not needed in the Christian Church because of the statement of ONE text, namely, I John 2:27:

 But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach  you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

The statement of this text that a Christian needs no man to teach him must be modified in the light of a preponderance of Scriptures which show that God has appointed teachers for the Church to instruct others under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Think of the presumption of either an individual or group that would think to establish a doctrine of the final restitution of all wicked men on ONE text.name­ly,   I Cor.15:22:

For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.

There can be no doubt that this text teaches that all shall be made alive in Christ, but it is and must be modified and qualified by the preponderance of other Scriptures bearing on the subject which show that all men will not have eternal life, but only those who repent of sin and accept Jesus Christ as Saviour and Lord.

Think of the presumption of an individual or group that would seek to estab­lish the right of an innocent party to marry another after divorcing his spouse if he. or they, sought to build such a doctrine on ONE isolated text. namely, Matt. 19:9(A.V.):

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another. committeth adultery: and whoso mar­rieth her which ls put away doth commit adultery.

Truly this text appears on the surface to support the assumption of the group of interpreters called the FIVE WORD School, but the preponderance of texts and passages of Scripture teach otherwise, as will be shown in this book.

FB profile 7xtjw  SIFC:  Did Jesus really say anything at all about an “exception clause” as apparently quoted (solely) in the book of Matthew?    Is there such a thing  — or was Erasmus and virtually the entire post-Reformation Church in serious, soul-endangering error?   Have literally millions gone to hell since the 16th  century for unrepented biblical adultery “sanctified” within the church walls?   To get to the truth, we need to dive into some hermeneutical principles, next installment, Chapter IV.

Back to Introduction

Continue to Chapters III and IV

Appendix

 

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7 Times Around the Jericho Wall  |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

 

Book Series: Introduction – DOES DIVORCE DISSOLVE MARRIAGE?

REVEREND MlLTON T.WELLS  (1901-1975)

EASTERN BIBLE  INSTITUTE

GREEN LANE,  PENNSYLVANIA

1957 – (Public Domain)

DDDM_PagePic

FB profile 7xtjwNote by Standerinfamilycourt:    Rev. Wells was an Assemblies of God Pastor and served as President of the Eastern Bible Institute in Pennsylvania,  now known as the University of Valley Forge.   His work would be considered “judgmental”, “legalistic” and “graceless” in many of the Assembly of God churches like the one SIFC belongs to today, and virtually any other evangelical Protestant church in America.

Our Lord Jesus Christ would have called his scholarly work, with its rigorous application of all the principles of hermeneutics to the scriptural texts on marriage “faithful”.    Until 1973,  so did all of Rev. Wells’ peers in the ministry.   Rev. Wells’ cautions in the Preface to this book, of course, went shamelessly unheeded by denominational leadership, and his words predicting the consequences proved prophetic.

The author uses the term “Five-Word-School” for those who reject Christ’s teaching, centered around Luke 16:18 and other scripture, that the marriage covenant is dissolved only by the physical death of one of the spouses; those who instead prefer to center their view around Matthew 19:9 according to the Erasmean / Lutheran / Calvinist rendering, in such a way as to contrive a “biblical exception” to justify remarriage after civil divorce.   It is interesting to read that even with the much-lower divorce rates of the 1950’s, the author even then refers to “a storm center of controversy among evangelical church leaders and other churchmen……especially over the past 3 decades.”   Some men of God will never take Christ’s “no” with a submissive spirit….as an undershepherd concerned primarily for souls above human esteem.

 

FOREWORD

We are living in perilous times. One of the most serious perils of our times is divorce, a danger which threatens the very foundation of our society; the mar­riage institution and the home.   One out of four American marriages breaks to pieces in a divorce court.  So many people are mixed up in their marriage rela­tions today that our social fabric is seriously  weakened.   Sensuality and promis­cuity are all too common in the American scene.   Hell and Hollywood contrib­ute freely of their vulgarity and sin.   These are indeed the days when men have “eyes full of adultery.”

Against this tide of evil the church stands as the only remaining bulwark. It  was reassuring. recently, to have a member of the British royal family stand firmly with her church against the temptation to marry a divorced man.  Certain churches in America also stand resolutely against marriage after divorce.  That  Holiness and Pentecostal churches be among those that resist this evil is properly consistent.  They refuse to countenance easy   divorce and remarriage  after di­vorce for any reason.

Such a position is Scriptural! “Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another committeth adultery against her.”   Mark 10: 11. In his book, “Does Divorce Dissolve Marriage?” Reverend Milton T. Wells has presented this position in an able manner. He has done the church and its moral standard a real service in this complete and convincing document which he has prepared.  May it bring reassurance and strength to the church and Christians in general as they resist the pressure and help stem the tide of modern laxity and compromise.

Reverend Ralph M. Riggs

General Superintendent

The Assemblies of God

 

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PREFACE

 

The frightening increase of divorce in the past two decades is tragic. Even more tragic is the departure of some evangelical churches from the clear teaching of Christ respecting marriage and divorce.   Today, a large segment of the Christian Church accommodates the Scriptures  to the seeming necessities of di­vorcees.   This compromising practice has led to a vitiated doctrine of divorce with terrible and consequent results.  Indeed, divorcees and their mates need the sympathetic concern of every true pastor, but a church must not build doctrines of divorce to suit the practices of expediency and heart-felt sympathies, neither must such doctrines be adjusted to fit the Christian experiences of these  unfortu­nate lives. Christian experience cannot settle Christian doctrine; Biblical doc­trine alone must determine and qualify Christian experience and the practices and rules respecting the divorce problem within the Church.

God is regenerating the lives of spouses of divorce unions.  This fact however should be no excuse for the Church to alter her doctrine of divorce. To do so will increase the rate of divorce and remarriage both within and without the Church, and consequently will blight the lives of millions of innocent children now living and yet unborn. The blame for the dreadful increase of divorce is properly laid at the door of the compromising segments of the Christian Church.

The purpose of this book is to draw believers back to an objective study and exegesis of the Scriptures bearing on the doctrine of divorce, that they may see whether Christ did, indeed, teach the doctrine .of the indissolubility of marriage for any cause,

The further matter of the status of converted divorcees  within the Church is treated at considerable length in the Appendix.

The writer is deeply indebted to the following for their substantial help in the preparation of the manuscript:  Paul H. Chappeli. Esq., member of the Maryland Bar; Richard J. Crozier, S. T. M.; Hobart E. Grazier, B. A.; Nicholas Tavani, B.A. and R. E. Watson, B. E. D._, A. M., Ph. D.   It is doubtful that the writer could have completed such a comprehensive treatment of the subject except for the inspira­tion, encouragement, and practical assistance of these brethren, some of whom contributed brief sections which they have permitted the author to include in the text without identification of their authorship.   In addition,   other   anonymous friends generously assisted in preparing the manuscript copy.  A hearty “thank you” is extended to them.

The writer is also grateful for the kind permission of many publishers to quote and print portions of their publications, acknowledgements of which are con­tained in footnotes.

 

INTRODUCTION

Divorce with its attendant evils is one of the most serious blights upon modern society.  Recent statistics reveal that there are three times as many suicides among divorced persons as there are among married people and that more delin­quent children are found in homes broken by divorce than in homes broken by death.  Whenever God’s laws are broken, someone has to pay. Nations and churches are only as strong as their homes. God ordained the family to be the core and strength of the moral and spiritual welfare of mankind; therefore it is important that society know the teachings of the Holy Scriptures respecting di­vorce and remarriage.

All Bible-believing Christians will agree that Jesus did not permit divorce be­tween husband and wife, except in the case of fornication on the part of the one or the other.  The following scriptures leave no doubt about this matter:  Matt. 5:32, 19:9; Mark 10: 1-12, and Luke 16:18.

True evangelicals, however, do disagree as to whether or not the Scriptures teach that a chaste mate may BOTH “put away” his unchaste mate and marry another.  One group of believers, whom we shall call the FlVE WORD School of Divorce, insists that the Scriptures teach that a “chaste mate” may put away a mate who commits adultery or fornication and then marry another while the first mate is still living. The writer of this paper is of the Conservative School, which believes that the Scriptures teach that a “chaste mate” may be separated from an “unchaste mate” but MAY NOT remarry while that mate still lives.  The writer, at the close of this paper, will show that there may even be a grave  doubt as to whether Christ authorized one to DIVORCE an adulterous wife.

Numbers of churches, including some of the older denominations, which in the earlier years of their existence retained rigid views on divorce, going so far as to forbid the right of the so-called “Innocent party” of Matt.19:9 who divorces his “unchaste wife” because of fornication to remarry, have in later years  liberalized  their doctrine of divorce.  Is this a fulfillment of II Thess.2:3. “Let no man de­ceive you by any means: for that day [the day of the Lord] shall not come, except there come a falling away first ..and that man of sin be revealed the son of per­dition..?  Will our denomination follow the pattern of other apostatizing  churches?  God forbid!

Is the more liberal view of Matt. 19:9, and divorce as a whole, based on a bet­ter exegesis and exposition of the sacred Scriptures and is therefore more to be desired for the glory of God.  Should changing moral standards and mores of mod­ern times cause us to re-examine the Scriptures with a direct effort to seek for a more liberal interpretation of Scripture, as it touches upon the subject of divorce and remarriage, so that the Church may more..realistically “establish standards” in keeping with the more universally accepted moral tone of the timesl

It is true that students of either side of a given doctrine are prone to regard only that which will entrench them further in their previous convictions. It is, unfortunately, doubtful whether many students or readers of studies on either side of the interpretation of Matt;19:9 will alter the opinions with which they ap­proached the study of this subject.   It is my hope that the reading of this paper will accomplish two purposes: first, to clarify the thinking and convictions of those who are still uncertain as to which of the two views is correct; and second, to resolve the problem for those who, while they have accepted the conclusions and interpretations of the FIVE WORD School, still have deep misgivings because they know that strong segments of the Christian Church for centuries have held the conservative view of this question, and further, because they realize that a loophole for divorce and remarriage for the one cause of fornication will certain­ly lead to permission for divorce and remarriage for other causes.

The very fact that the doctrine of divorce has been one of the storm centers of controversy among evangelical church leaders and other churchmen for centuries, and more particularly in the last three decades, should impel him who ap­proaches this subject to come humbly with an honest heart and open mind, pre­pared to study diligently and painstakingly all the Scriptures in the Bible deal­ing with the subject.  No easy, snap judgments are in order here. Thorough thinking is needed. Obviously, the Conservative School and the FIVE WORD School of the divorce controversy cannot both be right. Let us, therefore, think prayerfully under God until by God’s grace we truly think God’s thoughts after Him in this great problem of the Christian Church. The Holy Spirit through the Apostle Paul has bidden us:

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth (II Tim.2:15).

An old French writer made an observation in the nineteenth century which is far more true today.   He said that Democratic societies prefer books which may be easily procured, quickly read, and which require no learned researches to be understood …they must have what is unexpected and new.  Accustomed to the struggle, the crosses, and the monotony of practical life, they require  strong and rapid emotions, startling pas­sages, truths or errors brilliant enough to rouse them up and to plunge them at once as if by violence,   into the midst of the subject. I

A. W. Tozer: the editor of the Alliance Weekly, has said:

Our “vastly improved methods of communication” of which the short-sighted boast so loudly now enable a few men in strategic centers to feed into millions of minds alien thought stuff, ready-made and pre-diagnosed.  A little effortless assimilation of these borrowed ideas and the average man has done all the thinking he will or can do.  This subtle brain-washing goes on day after day ad year after year to the eternal injury of the populace — a populace, incidentally, which is willing to pay big money to have the job done, the reason being, I suppose , that it relieves them of the arduous and often frightening task of reaching independent decision for which they must take responsibility.

It is necessary that all who approach the study of this subject do so dispassion­ately, for admittedly there are scholarly and godly men on either side of this question who are deeply convinced that their position is the correct one.  May we come to the Scriptures in the study of this subject, by the help of God, without fixed prior prejudice or bias and without desire to wrest the Scriptures to suit them to the convenience of our denomination’s supposed need,  our seeming ne­cessities, our proclivities, or our carnal sympathies!  Alas, so often one’s expressed thought in a matter of diverse opinion is fathered by what suits his biased wish or apparent necessity rather than by an objective study of the facts in the case.  Most everyone sees the folly of this in others, but all are prone to do thesame thing. How desperately each one who studies this subject needs the illum­ination and direction of the Holy Spirit.  May God help each of us who approach­es the subject of divorce and remarriage to be free from this grave evil which has so many times blighted the Church of Christ. May this question not be set­tled by the traditions of great branches of the Protestant Church, no matter on which side of the question they may stand, for it is a fact that two of these, the  Church of England and the Presbyterian Church, have had equally eminent schol­ars championing opposite sides of the divorce problem under discussion. Surely it must be settled on the same sound principles of interpretation which have char­acterized the Christian Church for centuries in establishing the vital and essential doctrines of Holy Scriptures which have been virtually universally accepted by Bible-believing Christians for many generations.

The pastor who has dealt with earnest, believing divorcees, or their   mates, tempted to desire a doctrine of divorce which will enable him will be peculiarly to solve more expeditiously, at least, some of the complex problems of divorcees with the sympathy of his heart rather than with the conviction of his soul borne of a clear understanding of the teachings of the Holy Scriptures.   Many of these unfortunates have come into evangelical churches as a result of the easy divorces secured during World War II. They need Christ, He died for them. A pastor should not presume to give such people hasty and severe counsel lest they be pre­cipitated into worse moral pollution. God will guide them if they are encouraged to seek the Lord earnestly and study the Word of God diligently for light on their problems.

A pastor whose relatives have been blighted by divorce will find it difficult to be completely objective as he studies the Scriptures on this subject.   Obviously, a divorced person who is still unmarried will find it difficult also. Man’s depraved nature tends to press him to favor interpretations which make his way and the way of others easier and to favor such views of Scripture as shall not make him an exile and stranger (foreigner) (I Pet. 2: I I) to the spirit of his age (Rom. 12: 1.2V.) or church.  May all of us who pursue this study seek to be true Bereans, who search earnestly for the truth under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. May we seek the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth regarding this matter, cost what it may to us,  or to those nearest and dearest to us, or to any others for whom we have the deepest sympathy and compassion. The Bereans “were more noble than those in Thessalonica , in that they received the word with all readinessofmind, and searched the Scriptures daily, whether those things were so” (Acts 17:I I). Certainly the unfortunate divorcees need our sympathy, but we dare notbuild a doctrine of divorce on our sympathy and at the same time claim tobe honest with ourselves and the God of the Holy Scriptures.

Tangled problems of divorcees within the Church must be settled; however, they must not be settled by a prejudiced accommodation of the sacred Scriptures to them but by bringing them to the light of the truth gained by a straightforward and exact exegesis of the divorce texts of the Bible. Christ said,”Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word isTRUTH” (John 17:17).   All should heed the call of the STANDARD BEARER who during a fierce battle was bidden to return the flag to the retreating troops.   As he turned to press forward, he cried,   “BRING THETROOPS UP TO THE STANDARD,  I SHALL NOT BRING THE STANDARD DOWN TO THE TROOPS!”

May God help all who write on this subject, and all who diligently study it, to regard prayerfully the warning by V. H. Stanton: ..When once we have thought ourselves into a particular theory,  a conviction of its truth is apt to be bred in the mind, which is altogether beyond the evidence, while inconvenient facts are ignored…V. H.Stanton: The Expositor, Vol.Vll.

 

Continue to Chapters I  and  II  –  Does Divorce Dissolve Marriage?

 

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7 Times Around the Jericho Wall |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

How Disgusting Is This ??

by Standerinfamilycourt

CallUs-Disgusting

You’ve heard of “ambulance chasers” ?   Well, how about distressed-marriage vultures ??

Apparently, it’s possible to cross state lines and shop for an easier, sleazier divorce in some states.   That’s actually how it used to be before the days of so-called “divorce reform” that wound up redefining marriage altogether.   This “reform” sunk all of American society to its lowest (or so we all thought) common denominator.

Some states, as far back as the 1800’s,  saw the opportunity for destruction of out-of-state families as a lucrative industry to exploit.     This attitude will likely have to be dealt with once again as more states re-assess the toxic impact on our society, re-thinking the social wreckage left by unilateral divorce, and looking to return to more family-friendly policies.

(Texas ad: “It’s a whole ‘nother rodeo out here.” )

The feared cross-state impact of repealing unilateral divorce is probably also one of the most formidable legislative and judicial obstacles  to restoring basic 1st and 14th Amendment Constitutional guarantees that were stripped from the politically disfavored and disenfranchised class of Americans called “Respondents”.

“Family Law” firms should not be allowed to reach across states lines to increase social malaise and instability for crass commercial purposes!   (It seems that such a practice qualifies as interstate commerce – and should be regulated as such at the Federal level. )

 

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall  |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

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Why No One Is Married

FB profile 7xtjw Standerinfamilycourt Blog Commentary:  Mr. Truncellito is the Texas attorney written about in the book “Stolen Vows” by Judy Parejko.   Mr. Truncellito’s research into the Texas statute after unilateral divorce was enacted exposed a fraud, but to no avail.   The original enactment of the Texas “no-fault” law was to be by mutual consent only.   However, the legal community conspired to implement it as unilateral divorce.  Mr. Truncellito appealed his case up through the Texas Supreme Court based on his investigation, but failed to win relief for the people of Texas, with the final determination entered in November, 2000.

 

Ed Truncellito, J.D., September 2000

 

 

 

 

 

 

Marriage today is no more than “registered cohabitation” because no-fault divorce was misinterpreted as “no cause and no proof” divorce. If you can divorce without true cause–then you were not truly married in the first place. You were merely cohabiting, as in ages past, regardless what name it’s called.

You could always walk away from a disagreeable cohabitation, but marriage was defined in its protection by law. You couldn’t get out of a marriage just because you wanted out. You had to have true cause: abuse, adultery, abandonment, or the like. And not only cause, but genuine proof of it.

When the well-meaning no-faulters tried to take adversarialism out of the divorce process, to make it friendly, it failed. The door swung wide open to “no cause and no proof” divorce. Meanwhile, adversarialism went right back into the property and custody battles.

The old “fault” laws needed overhaul to bring spousal equality, and to make the system friendlier, but no-fault’s “no cause and no proof” divorce, administered by warring lawyers, was the wrong implementation. The law should have required that spouses be taught how, and helped, to settle differences as co-equals, to deliberate justly and fairly, with self-control, while honoring their partner and the vows they made for a permanent union.

Beforehand, almost any man could rule his wife and settle disputes by physical force. But spousal equality demands at least a little education, a working knowledge of civilized diplomacy and reasoned compromise — for both genders.

The no-fault laws did not train the partners to solve any problems. The laws simply — and grievously — empowered the courts to settle all their disputes for them, in one grand sweep, by divorce, no matter how whimsical or trivial the disagreement. No-fault did not elevate the status of wives as co-equal family managers. It lowered the status of both spouses, while it elevated the courts as the new, and not-so-charitable, family managers.

The no-fault divorce system, as implemented, funded divorce. It channeled money from troubled families to divorce lawyers, now at hourly rates in three digits, in exchange for dividing children and property. The court’s officers were hired and paid to terminate marriages, not to save them.

The no-fault legal system, as envisioned, was to be a family hospital, to comfort the hurting spouses and bandage the wounded marriages. Instead, it became a family morgue. It promised to give relief from the former hostilities of the “fault” legal system, but it became more hostile than ever.

Reconciliation dollars, facilities, and assistance were promised, but they never materialized. A generation and a half later, we know that the experiment did not work as planned.

In truth, our no-fault laws, as implemented, abolished true marriage. After many years of no-fault, we no longer even respect the solemn covenants that partners make between themselves and God. Instead, we respect the solemn covenants that lawyers make between themselves and a judge.

Although cohabitation is handicapped in many ways, it unfortunately has one important advantage: ordinary cohabitation keeps government out of the home. In contrast, the registered cohabitation that we still call marriage invokes the jurisdiction of government officers. They receive authority to manage the lives of both spouses and their children with legal force.

No wonder people cohabit. No wonder we have so many broken homes. Partners can walk away from the slightest inconvenience, at any time, with court assistance. They don’t ever have to conciliate, or swallow their pride and say they are sorry, or try to please anyone but themselves.

When divorce was made into a guaranteed certainty, it became an easy way out of hard times. Partners knew they would no longer be pressed by embarrassing questions about covenants and faithfulness, as they moved on to their next cohabitation. Nor could they be stopped.

The fundamental attribute, the unique defining characteristic, the earmark, that always distinguished true marriage from cohabitation, is legal security — protection by law — protection by divorce law.

Today, that protection is gone. Genuine proof of true cause was always required for divorce, and anything else — but that — should have changed in an overhaul of divorce law.

It is one thing to let spouses decide, without intrusion, for their own private reasons, whether to live together, or to live apart indefinitely. But it is another thing altogether, for government not to question the cause, when government has already intervened, when government is asked to destroy a marriage, totally and permanently.

The legal security of true marriage cannot be a chain. But neither can it be a thread. It must be a sturdy fabric, a flexible but tough canvas, to weather the gales of life.

That’s why true marriage is so secure and stable for mates. When spouses cannot easily shake off their yoke, they soften it by mutual accommodation. In other words: spouses don’t stay together because they get along; they get along because they stay together.

And that’s why true marriage is so secure and stable for children. True marriage is underwritten by law. Children can rest assured that no passing storm will carry either of their parents away. They know that the whole force of government stands as a benevolent guard to protect their homes and both of their providers.

We are not in the midst of a divorce crisis. It is a marriage crisis.

No one is married, and no one can marry. The right to marry was taken away.

The happy voices of the bride and the bridegroom are gone from our land.

Attorney Ed Truncellito spent over 1,500 hours researching the legislation that created “no-fault” divorce in Texas in 1969. He found that the law was meant only to apply to uncontested divorces. He has filed suit against the State Bar of Texas, alleging that they, like the tobacco industry, covered up what they knew to be a destructive product, and that the State Bar knew all along that the no-fault law was being misapplied but covered it up for financial gain. See Mr. Truncellito’s website at www.no-one-is-married.com. His email address is no_one_is_married@juno.com (use underscores).

 

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall | Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

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When the Other Woman Becomes the Wife

http://www.emotionalaffair.org

When an Other Woman Becomes the Wife

“My perspective is from that of the other woman (OW) who became the new wife. I hope this helps someone.

You will get to be responsible for destroying the life of another woman. You will get to be responsible for destroying the lives of all children involved. No, children are not resilient. They are sponges and take in everything around them whether they are capable of processing it or not. And when they are not able to process their world being shattered and all the conflicting messages about right and wrong, you will get to deal with all their issues and mistakes and anger as they grow up. You will have to know all the while that whatever is happening is a direct result of your selfishness. If the child fails at school, can’t control their anger, becomes promiscuous, falls into addictions, can’t maintain good relationships of their own you get to know in the back of your mind and deep in your soul that you are responsible for what molded that child. Whether you admit it or not, you WILL know. You will not be able to fix this; it will not work out, smooth over, or ever be okay. Even if you look like the Cleavers on the surface it is under there bubbling and will come out. Don’t think you are special and you will escape this result.

Maybe right now you are in a place where you are in deep denial about the children and you don’t give a crap about the BW [betrayed wife]. Let me appeal to your sense of selfishness then and tell you what you personally are going to suffer in the years to come…

You are marrying a cheater. Someone who didn’t like what they had at home so they went looking for something better. Or maybe you offered him something better? It doesn’t really matter who started it, who lied more, it doesn’t even really matter if you were tricked into a relationship not knowing he was married at first. Your consequences will be the same. You now have a spouse who gave up one family and chose you and yours. Feels great right? Think again. How long do you think it will take before you stop feeling like a prize?

The minute things go wrong, and face it, in all marriages there are these times, he is going to be looking at you and wondering if you were worth it. And you will feel it. Even if he doesn’t say it right out. He is going to realize that this marriage requires just as much work as the old one did and you are not nearly as perfect in real life as he thought you were and he is going to be angry for what he has sacrificed for you. Now you get to be insecure and feel like you are always fighting to be worth it to him.

You are going to be labeled as the b**ch for the entire rest of your life. No matter what changes or personal revelations you come to, you will be the bitch that wrecked a home and stole a husband. There will be innumerable family conflicts over this. You are likely to have his kids hating your guts forever. This means that every holiday, school concert, soccer game, big family event like graduations and weddings, and grandkids (yes, it will last that far and long) will be sources of conflict instead of happy times.

You will probably not be invited to a lot of things that your spouse should be attending with his children. You may show up anyway, asserting your position as the new wife. But it will be a conflict. Your spouse will have to over and over choose between you and his original family. He is going to resent you for this. You are going to get so tired of constantly being the center of conflict and so tired of all the hate directed at you and no one is going to sympathize with you. When you do impose yourself where the BW and her children and extended family and friends are, you will feel the scarlet letter that you wear burning in your chest no matter how high you try to hold your head. I promise you…you will. You and your stolen spouse will fight over this more than you can imagine in the years to come.

And guess what?! When he starts to pull away from you and works late more, or isn’t insatiable in bed with you anymore, or cuts his hair a new way you are going to be terrified. You are going to be terrified because you know exactly what he might be doing next. You are going to be suspicious probably before he actually even does anything because you already know he is untrustworthy.

Chances are he is going to cheat again too. Except this time on you. Now, you get to feel the pain of being a BW doubled by the pain of realizing exactly what you did to someone else. The guilt and shame on top of your already devastating pain from being cheated on will be unbearable. Now listen to this closely NO ONE IS GOING TO CARE!! You are going to hear and know that you should have known better and have the old adages about cheaters thrown in your face over and over. You will not be able to come somewhere like these boards for support because they are going to crucify you! You will be all alone with your pain and your heartache with no one to blame but yourself.

Do not think you are special. DO NOT THINK IT WON’T HAPPEN TO YOU!!!!!!!!!! The stats are overwhelmingly high. No one gets married thinking that their spouse will cheat. No one. I promise that you are not different or better somehow.

Occasionally an affair partner will grow a conscience and want to be a good person and here is what happens…

Now, let’s say that you make changes in your heart and your life. Let say you find God or in whatever way it comes to you, you realize that you have done something horrendous. Okay, now you actually do care about those kids and that BW. Well too bad. You can’t fix it. Yes, God will forgive you if you repent. Not many others will. And you will have one heck of a time trying to forgive yourself. You will feel sick and ashamed all the time. You will cry many bitter tears.

You will not be able to look at your spouse and feel the same way you once did. All of your memories of when you first met, your first kiss, the early days of your relationship will be tainted. All of those memories that are supposed to be sweet will be sour. You will not be able to enjoy them because you know that whole time it was wrong, wrong, wrong! What are you left with? Not much.

You are going to try to offer apologies, you are going to try to figure out what you can possibly do to make amends and there are going to be no easy answers. You will be told by many that you can’t repent and stay married. You will be told by just as many that if God has forgiven you that another divorce would be just another sin. You will make yourself crazy over this because you want to do the right thing for once in your life and you have put yourself in a situation where it is impossible to know what that is.

Also, if you are one of the few who have this attack of conscience at some point down the road, you are still going to be dealing with all the same stuff above that the unremorseful affair partner is dealing with except it’s probably going to hurt you even more because you now genuinely care. Too bad no one will think you are sincere or trust your words. Why should they, remember what you did?? Of course you do, now go cry some more as if it will help.

There are no time machines people!! You are making a mess bigger than you can ever clean up!!…”

FB profile 7xtjw Standerinfamilycourt  Blogger’s Commentary:    Found this blog post while on a search to find a source for a statistic shared by a fellow stander on his page:  that the failure rate  is 97% for remarriages that originated in adultery.   Obviously, Jesus, Peter and Paul all taught the importance of the foundation upon which anything is built, but the figure was still very striking, if there indeed has been a statistically reliable study of this subject in the easy, sleazy “no-fault” era of the past 45 years when the government started actively undermining biblical, covenant marriages.    I was unsuccessful in finding anything specific, but my blogger’s antenna is now up.

Life usually has a way of playing out exactly as the bible describes, because this Book is supernatural.   The adulterer who once walked with Christ has first committed adultery in his heart toward the One who died for him, Who unconditionally remains in covenant with the bride of his youth along with him.   No non-covenant replacement can ever occupy the place of Christ nor the covenant spouse, and that person’s very presence in the adulterer’s life competes with Christ.   Coexistence, regardless of a corrupt family law system’s complicity in legalizing it,  is impossible because that person amounts to an idol in the adulterer’s life,  one who has been substituted for and placed ahead of Christ.

So, for now I leave my readers with the Book’s timeless wisdom which, before even factoring in the yielded stander’s powerful and unrelenting prayers for a stolen one-flesh spouse and his/her stolen soul, perfectly undergirds such a 97% statistic.   (Too bad the civil authorities, who arrogantly think they, not God, are the arbiters of what’s “best” for a family, don’t take serious heed):

Galatians 6:7 –  Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man [woman} sows, that he [she] will also reap.

(SIFC:  don’t miss the present tense in this next scripture, it’s important!):  Malachi 2: 13  – Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears.You weep and wail  because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask,“Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness(between you and the wife of your youth.  You have been unfaithful to her, though she is  [not was]  your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.  Has not the one God made you?   You belong to him in body and spirit.

Ezekiel 34: 21, 27   –   Because you shove with flank and shoulder, butting all the weak sheep with your horns until you have driven them away, I will save my flock, and they will no longer be plundered. I will judge between one sheep and another.  I will place over them one shepherd, my servant David, and he will tend them…I the Lord will be their God, and my servant David will be prince among them.     I the Lord have spoken….They will know that I am the Lord, when I break the bars of their yoke and rescue them from the hands of those who enslaved them.

1 John 5:18, 21  –  We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the One who was born of God keeps them safe, and the evil one cannot harm them…..Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.

Proverbs 22:14 –  The mouth of an adulterous woman is a deep pit;  a man who is under the Lord’s wrath falls into it.

2 Timothy 2:19 – Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness.”

1 Corinthians 3:10 –  By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it.  But each one should build with care.

Luke 6:49 –  But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.

Psalm 127:1 –  Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it.  FB profile 7xtjw

 

We’d love to hear your comments and/or related experiences about this author’s words of warning  in the comment section below.

 

When Affair Partners Marry: 9 Reasons Why They Might Fail

By on September 8, 2011 in Divorce, Sex and Marriage

when affair partners marry

What are the typical defects in the relationships when affair partners marry and why are they more likely to divorce?

In the past we have written about the some of our neighbors who have experienced infidelity in their lives, as well as my brother’s situation, and as a result of a neighborhood block party and some time talking with my mother, we were inundated with news of cheaters beginning their new lives with their affair partners.

We heard about divorces being finalized and new homes being bought and how excited they all were to begin their new lives.  I really couldn’t feel hopeful or happy for any of these people (even though one of them was my brother).

I really feel guilty about that because I want my brother to be happy but I just have a gut feeling that this wasn’t the right way to accomplish it.

I was feeling really frustrated and of course wondered why Doug didn’t take that same path to a new life.  I also began to wonder how happy these couples will really be once the shine of their relationship wears off.  So I searched the internet looking for answers about the success rate of second marriages, particularly marriages when affair partners marry each other.

I know somewhere on our site we mentioned the percentage of these marriages that are successful and I know the percentage was very low.  However, I wanted to know why.  I was lucky enough to find an article that summarized a chapter from Frank Pittman’s book, “Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy” that described the typical defects in the relationships when affair partners marry and why they are likely to divorce.

The intervention of reality.  During the affair the affair partners are in an intense state of stimulating unreality.  The second marriage itself seems to be the switch that illuminates the mess that has accumulated.  To them it was as if the romance appeared real while the divorce didn’t.  Only after their marriage did the divorce become real enough to see that it was a horrible mistake.  They were so caught up in the infatuation that they never got around to figuring out if what they were doing was sane.

Guilt.  People who have wrecked a family have inflicted much pain.  As reality sets in they see many things they were overlooking. They may have no or little guilt during the affair and divorce, so the guilt they feel after the remarriage may come as a complete surprise to both of them and they may not know how to handle that revelation.

Disparity of Sacrifice.  Divorces are expensive both financially and emotionally.  Anyone losing a great deal will be drained, exhausted and depressed.  It is particularly difficult when the exhausted partner marries one who feels triumphant that they have won the battle and took them away from their family.  When affair partners marry, the new couple may feel a disparity in what had to be sacrificed to bring them together.  They may not understand the emotion that was involved and what they had to give up in order to be together.

Expectations.  Then there is the feeling that anything that cost that much emotionally had better be worth it.  The greater the sacrifices, the greater the expectations for the new marriage.  They believe that everything will be perfect just as their affair was.  Unfortunately, what they will find is the ordinariness of real life.  The more people enjoy the battles involved in wrecking and escaping marriages, the less they are likely to enjoy the business as usual of the new marriage.

General distrust of marriage and of the affair partners.  It is obvious that when affair partners marry at some point in their marriage they will begin to question if their new spouse will also cheat on them.  How can a marriage that began as a lie have any trusting foundation?

Divided loyalties.  During the affair and the divorce the affair couples isolate themselves.  They not only erase the betrayed spouse from their awareness, but also the children, relatives, friends, etc.  They live in their own little world protected from the devastation that they have created, safe from anyone who tries to pull them apart.  After the remarriage, they long to reconnect with these people only to find that is not so easy.  Everyone involved is hurt by the betrayal and not as forgiving as they have expected. They often find that they only have each other and that can be very lonely.

Romance.  People who are in love with romance, or in love with being in love as Dr. Huizenga would say, do not understand the physics of relationships.  When the romance fades, romantics know little about how to solve those problems.  Rather, they believe that they have just fallen out of love.  They do not understand how to have a deeper more meaningful relationship.  They move on from romance to romance never finding true lasting love.

Blaming the betrayed spouses.  During the affair and the divorce the affair couples convince each other that the defective marriage was the fault of the betrayed spouse.  To acknowledge otherwise, now that the remarriage has taken place, seems a betrayal of the rescue fantasies that fed the affair in the first place.

Unshared history.  Even if a new marriage survives all of these obstacles, there is one further characteristic of second marriages: the absence of a shared history that brings familiarity to relationships that begin earlier in life.

If an affair wrecked the first marriage, the history is painful and embarrassing for both parties.  They also have a difficult time discussing the past because it may promote jealousy and insecurity.  When affair partners marry, they do not want to hear the good qualities of the previous marriage and spouses.  They also don’t want to hear about all the good times they had shared.  They are literally starting over and trying not to bring the past with them.  Often times this can be lonely and disheartening, and eventually causes them to forget who they really are.

I believe that most of us (betrayed spouses) realize that many of these defects would play out similarly if our spouses chose to leave and marry their affair partner.  I am pretty confident that none of these obstacles were discussed or even thought about while our spouses were involved in their affairs.  I imagine that it would probably take awhile before the fog lifted and the consequences of their actions were realized.

For a powerful post written by an “other woman” who married her affair partner, click here.

LINESPACE

Suffer the Little Children: Cohabitation and the Abuse of America’s Children

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by W. Bradford Wilcox,  April 22nd, 2011 –  The Witherspoon Institute / Public Discourse

Blogger’s Commentary:    The direct connection between rising rates of unmarried cohabitation and the entrenched stronghold of unilateral divorce has been repeatedly chronicled in recent years.    The much trumpeted “declining / levelling divorce rate”  attributed by both proponents and justified critics of the “no-fault” laws  to easy, unilateral divorce is unmistakable.   But what is a bit more mistakable is the fact that the divorce rate decline has ALSO been shown to be directly linked to the rise in unmarried cohabitation.   This is important context for the excellent, informed piece that follows about impacts of both evils on innocent, defenseless children, courtesy of the national family law system.    

Jesus’ Commentary:   (Amplified Bible)  “Temptations (snares, traps set to entice to sin) are sure to come, but woe to him by or through whom they come!

 It would be more profitable for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were hurled into the sea than that he should cause to sin or be a snare to one of these little ones [lowly in rank or influence].     Luke 17:1-3

Cohabitation does not serve the “best interest” of children, regardless of what the courts say.

In just one month last year, Tyari Smith Sr. of suburban New Orleans shot and killed his 2-year-old son, Tyari Smith Jr., and his girlfriend, Marie Chavez, because she was considering leaving him and heading back home to California. A week later, 4-month-old Aiden Caro was thrown into a couch by his mother’s boyfriend, Samuel Harris, when Harris could not get him to stop crying. Shortly thereafter, the Louisville baby stopped crying forever. The next week, in Gaston, South Carolina, 5-month-old Joshua Dial was shaken by his mother’s boyfriend “in a manner so violent that the baby immediately lost consciousness and suffered severe brain trauma,” according to local police reports. Joshua died soon thereafter.

Are these tragic cases of fatal child abuse around the nation in one month just random expressions of the dark side of the human condition? Not according to a recent federal study of child abuse and neglect, the Fourth National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect.

This new federal study indicates that these cases are simply the tip of the abuse iceberg in American life. According to the report, children living with their mother and her boyfriend are about 11 times more likely to be sexually, physically, or emotionally abused than children living with their married biological parents. Likewise, children living with their mother and her boyfriend are six times more likely to be physically, emotionally, or educationally neglected than children living with their married biological parents. In other words, one of the most dangerous places for a child in America to find himself in is a home that includes an unrelated male boyfriend—especially when that boyfriend is left to care for a child by himself.

But children living with their own father and mother do not fare much better if their parents are only cohabiting. The federal study of child abuse found that children living with their cohabiting parents are more than four times more likely to be sexually, physically, or emotionally abused than their peers living in a home headed by their married parents. And they are three times more likely to be physically, emotionally, or educationally neglected than children living with their married biological parents. In other words, a child is not much safer when she is living in a home with her parents if her parents’ relationship does not enjoy the legal, social, and moral status and guidance that marriage confers on relationships.

This latest study confirms what a mounting body of social science has been telling us for some time now. The science tells us that children are not only more likely to thrive but are also more likely to simply survive when they are raised in an intact home headed by their married parents, rather than in a home headed by a cohabiting couple. For instance, a 2005 study of fatal child abuse in Missouri found that children living with their mother’s boyfriends were more than 45 times more likely to be killed than were children living with their married mother and father.

Cohabitation is also associated with other non-fatal pathologies among children. A 2002 study from the Urban Institute found that 15.7 percent of 6- to 11-year-olds in cohabiting families experienced serious emotional problems (e.g., depression, feelings of inferiority, etc.), compared to just 3.5 percent of children in families headed by married biological or adoptive parents. A 2008 study of more than 12,000 adolescents from across the United States found that teenagers living in a cohabiting household were 116 percent more likely to smoke marijuana, compared to teens living in an intact, married family. And so it goes.

One reason that children do not tend to thrive in cohabiting households, besides the abuse factor, is that these homes are much more unstable than are married households. One recent University of Michigan study found that children born to cohabiting parents were 119 percent more likely to see their parents break up than children born to married parents. And, as anyone who has children can attest, children do not do well when they are exposed to changing routines, homes, and, especially, caretakers.

This growing body of new research has been deliberately ignored by the ACLU, which has been engaged in a longstanding legal campaign to gut state laws designed to support and strengthen marriage as the preferred relationship for the bearing, rearing, and adoption of children. This month in Arkansas, for instance, the ACLU convinced the Arkansas Supreme Court, in Cole v. Arkansas, to strike down a state law that prohibits cohabiting couples from adopting or fostering children. The ACLU argued that the Arkansas law violated federal and state constitutional rights to privacy and served “no child welfare purpose at all.” The Arkansas Supreme Court bought this argument, ruling that the Arkansas law, Act 1, violated cohabitors’ “fundamental right to privacy… to engage in private, consensual, noncommercial intimacy in the privacy of their homes.”

But what about the rights of the children in Arkansas to be raised in a safe and stable home? The state of Arkansas argued, rightly, that cohabiting homes are no place for children in need of safe and stable homes. Infants, toddlers, and older children who have been given up by their parents, or who have been removed by the state from the custody of their parents, need safe and stable homes above all else. And the latest federal study provides yet more evidence that households headed by cohabiting couples are not likely to supply good homes for such children. Apparently, none of this mattered to an Arkansas Supreme Court keen to put adults’ desires ahead of children’s needs.

Thankfully, the family news from the states has not been all bad this month. On Monday, Arizona governor Jan Brewer approved a law that gives married parents preference in the adoption process in her state. Arizona thereby joins a number of other states—such as Mississippi, Utah, and Virginia—that privilege married couples in the adoption process.

Let’s just hope that the courts in Arizona and these other states do not fall prey to the ACLU’s ongoing campaign to disconnect parenthood from marriage. Because—as study after study tells us—children are more likely to thrive and to simply survive when they are raised in an intact, married home. This is no small social fact, given that the primary purpose of family law is not to serve the desires of adults but rather the “best interests” of children.

W. Bradford Wilcox is Director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and a senior fellow of the Witherspoon Institute. He is also an adoptive father.

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall  |  Lets Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

www.standerinfamilycourt.com 

 

 

How One Local Church Let A Young Family Down Due to Tainted Denominational Doctrine

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by:  standerinfamilycourt.com

“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.” – Matthew 5:13

“The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted. “ –  Proverbs 29:25

“But I have this against you, that you tolerate the woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, and she teaches and leads My bond-servants astray so that they commit acts of immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols.   I gave her time to repent, and she does not want to repent of her immorality.”   – Message to the Church at Thyratira, Revelation 2:20 

 

She was a 30-something never-married daughter in a large and important family in the small congregation.   He was a civilly-divorced father of a young son.   Let’s call them Jack and Jill,  not their real names.   They met online, dated briefly and then moved in together.   Soon Jill was expecting a child whom they learned would be born a special-needs child.    Jack and Jill  were enveloped in the loving, accepting arms of the body of Christ in that fellowship, and somewhere along the way, one of the men led seeker Jack to the Lord.

 

Even though the word of God clearly states that Jack already has a covenant wife we’ll call Jane (Romans 7:2; 1 Corinthians 7:39),  the senior pastor agreed to wed Jack to Jill, probably out of very understandable empathy for the special-needs child about to be born, but also because the official position paper of the denomination set up that expectation of its pastors back in the early 1970’s when it was redrafted to accommodate church members who would be impacted by the legalization of unilateral divorce.

 

This conscientious pastor required every couple getting married in this fellowship to undertake Christ-based premarital counseling.   While there was no indication that this pastor knew about their cohabitation,  by this time there was obvious “probable cause” to ask a few questions in the course of the required sessions, but never did this pastor require Jill and Jack to separate and live apart for a time before the wedding.   There simply wasn’t time if the child was to be born into wedlock.   The official position paper on divorce and remarriage of this denomination  advises extensively on such matters, claiming God “permits” the divorce of covenant spouses on either of two purportedly “biblical” grounds commonly asserted by Protestant denominations, seminaries and national ministries (they all do so while brushing aside the compelling words of Jesus in Luke 16:18,  Matthew 5:19,32 and Matthew 19:6),  This denominational position paper then goes so far as to egregiously claim that God “exits” the original covenant in order to form a “new covenant” with remarriage partners whom Jesus unmistakably said were committing adultery.   My bible says God exits the marriage covenant only when one of the spouses dies.

 

[The Protestant church has traditionally misapplied three scripture passages in an effort to find “biblical grounds” to allow remarriage after a civil divorce:   Deuteronomy 24:1-4,  Matthew 19:9 and 1 Corinthians 7:15.    An honest analysis of context, culture / audience,  and inconsistency with the vast body of clearer scriptures which contradict such interpretation,  makes “biblical grounds” justification pretty tenuous and the inferred leap to remarriage completely unjustifiable.   Discussion deferred to a future post.] 

 

Little is known about the circumstances of Jack’s covenant marriage with Jane, the mother of his young son, or of his manmade divorce from her, a matter Jesus Christ would almost certainly find a pithy way to say is biblically irrelevant in God’s eyes.   (This church and its denomination would say that if Jack and Jane didn’t happen to be believers when they married, and Jack came to the Lord after getting divorced from Jane, he has “biblical grounds” to remarry.)   Nevertheless, a very pregnant Jill walked down the aisle of that church one Sunday, right after services, and legalized her fornication with Jane’s covenant husband Jack, as solemnized by Jill’s pastor.

 

For a while, all seemed to be well in the ongoing household of Jack and Jill.   Jack’s young son was in church regularly with Jack and Jill.  The little girl born to them was as precious as the day is long, a blessing to the entire fellowship.   Jack seemed to be growing spiritually for a couple of years, and he joined the Sunday morning worship team.   Soon another baby was on the way.   However, as Jack grew ever closer to the Lord, it wasn’t long before the wheels all fell off the marriage wagon very suddenly and without warning.   Tragically, the new baby was born into an estranged home.

 

I have to confess to having no firsthand knowledge of exactly what went wrong, other than the external restlessness that came over Jack.   I only know that when God is beginning to lead a man by His spirit from within, things start to be laid bare and it would be unusual after being born again, being sealed on the inside with the living and active Holy Spirit, if Jack’s heart wasn’t drawn back to his covenant wife Jane, with whom he was still under the power of the indissolvable one-flesh relationship and of the covenant presence of God.   Jack may not yet be aware today of what exactly is making him restless.    That may take some time and working through more confusion, but the day of full recognition will eventually dawn for Jack.   Contrary to what this denomination teaches, God’s character is incapable of breaking holy covenant under any circumstances, and when He says He “hates” divorce, He uses a very strong Hebrew word for “hate” meaning violent revulsion, provoking retribution.    God actively fights for covenant marriages, and man’s divorce decree is meaningless to Him unless it is rectifying the civil legalities of an immoral subsequent union.

 

Meanwhile, it seems doubtful that a brand new believer,  hungrily digging deep into the word of God, and being discipled by the men in the church who are (wrongly) counseling him that his current non-covenant marriage is the righteous union, wouldn’t become very spiritually confused if it was actually the powerful Holy Spirit pushing him from within, toward reconciliation with his covenant wife as a wholesome and necessary milestone on his discipleship journey.    Yet the church members here would paint this move of God as “fresh sin”,  instead of redemptive repentance, because they fundamentally misunderstand covenant and how profoundly the marriages of our youth symbolize the Godhead in God’s design.   Nowhere would the pastor’s enabling role in cementing this broken family situation ever be called into question unless the Holy Spirit convicts this pastor’s heart supernaturally.

 

Though the wheels fell off Jack’s non-covenant marriage wagon, I pray that the spirit of God miraculously holds the wheels on Jack’s discipleship wagon, and that the Lord will send him a godly mentor who harbors no mistaken theology or conflict of interest.

 

After a brief stand, Jill chose not to stand in the way of a civil divorce.   It was wise and profitable for her to let go of the husband who was never rightfully hers, despite the children born from him.     I pray separately for her, that God will provide abundantly for her and the little girls, and in right timing, send her a godly, never-married or widowed husband after first preparing her heart to win that husband God’s way (instead of the world’s way which too often includes sexual entrapment).    I pray that Jack will still be the dad his little girls deserve, and if he reconciles with his covenant wife, God will give Jane a big heart for them.

 

I pray a misled and mis-taught pastor will learn from his part in this very brief marriage.   Even so,  it hasn’t been long since he again married an older widow in the fellowship to somebody else’s covenant husband on denominationally-contrived “biblical grounds” (i.e., that an estranged wife obtained a man-made civil divorce in order to legalize her adultery, and the discarded Christian husband was unwilling to take a biblical stand as a modern-day “Hosea”).   But what did Jesus say?    Luke 16:18 “ …and the one who marries a [spouse] who has been divorced from a [spouse] commits adultery.”    Jack and Jill’s divorce is an actual picture of the only true biblical grounds for divorce, and divorce that requires either celibacy while Jane is alive, or remarriage only to Jane.   Jill is scripturally free following her civil divorce to marry a never-married or widowed man, but not another divorced man.

 

There is a very small remnant of pastors out there who take God at the fullness of His word and in the fullness of His unchanging character.    Some of them minister under the same unscriptural denominational doctrine as this particular pastor, but they shepherd with biblically-correct conviction, elevating the truth, as it comes from the Holy Spirit, over any denominational mandates that conflict with the direct and plain word of God.   They ask all the right discerning questions when approached to do a wedding.   They flatly decline to solemnize any wedding that Jesus would call adultery according to Luke 16:18.    When otherwise biblically-eligible couples are cohabiting, they require them to separate for an agreed time, to denounce, repent and refrain from fornication, preferably moving in with people who will hold them accountable during this period until the wedding.    If the relationship is adulterous, that is, if either partner has the husband or wife of their youth still living, the couple is counseled to permanently sever and seek to be reconciled to their covenant partners, honoring their marriage vows in celibacy until the Lord intervenes and makes that possible.   Unrepentant fornication and adultery is still dealt with by biblical church discipline in these select few local congregations for the sake of the souls of those involved and all those watching.   These pastors understand deeply that violation of covenant marriage vows is spiritually lethal to the witness of the entire congregation (loss of “saltiness”) and to the next several generations of the impacted        famil(ies) , due to the evil soul-ties created.

 

None of this is easy or popular, but Standerinfamilycourt believes dealing biblically with sanitized adultery is what is going to be required to restore God’s blessing, favor and protection to His church and our nation, turning back the twin threats of virulent Islam and hostile atheism that are steadly leaching away the democracy and liberty God once gifted to our nation.     A liberal pagan Federal judge went so far as to call out this permissive hypocrisy  in his ruling which overturned Idaho’s homosexual marriage law  (Latta v. Otter, 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, October 7, 2014):  “If defendants [Governors of Idaho and Nevada] really wished to ensure that as many children as possible had married parents, they would do well to rescind the right to no-fault divorce, or to divorce altogether.  Neither has done so.”    Jesus would concur.

 

When God allowed the Assyrians and Babylonians to invade / exile Israel and Judah,  it wasn’t because of the widespread sin of the people that caused Him to finally lose His divine patience.   It was the failure of the priestly class to lead righteously, or to confront and lay hold of their absolute authority under God to eradicate that widespread sin, instead of becoming complicit in it.   Church leadership failed to function as the purifying authority He expects.   The devastating loss of the kingdom and self-rule was God keeping the adverse half of His conditional promises in Deuteronomy 28.

 

Standerinfamilycourt believes what we are seeing today in our utter defeat as the body of Christ goes up against the violent, demonic cultural and international forces, is a repeat of this very dark chapter in Israel’s history as a nation.    I’m being blunt because I believe there is still time for the church in the U.S. to do something about it, after repenting from her heart and on her face before the God of Angel Armies.

In a recent broadcast, women’s discipler Nancy Leigh DeMoss  of the ministry Revive our Hearts.com captured very powerfully the issues around a church remaining faithful under circumstantial pressure and potential legal barriers; full-on obeying God’s word,  not neglecting church discipline to purge biblical disobedience in the body of Christ if we want to win battles that are too big for us against physical and spiritual foes.   The fear of man paints such things as “private matters” but God, whom we ought to be fearing more than we fear the opinions or retribution of man,  has a very different opinion!

https://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/revive-our-hearts/door-hope/

In dire times like these, the biblical heroes of old always confessed their nation’s sin as if it was their own, and vicariously bore the shame of that corporate sin as if they personally deserved the shame.    They were rewarded with a mighty move of God on their nation.  Examples are found in Daniel, Moses, Nehemiah and Ezra, among others.    Ezra, the quiet, studious prophet who led the successful rebuilding of the demolished temple of God, found out while on his face before the Lord that he needed first to purge all of the immoral and prohibited marriages within the fellowship before the Lord would be with them in their appointed, anointed task of rebuilding the temple.   His fasting prayer seems an appropriate wrap-up to this post….while being careful to point out that in God’s eyes, the only legitimate function for civil divorce is to correct biblically-unlawful marriages:

EZRA Chapter 9

[…and I fell on my knees and stretched out my [c]hands to the Lord my God; 6 and I said, “O my God, I am ashamed and embarrassed to lift up my face to You, my God, for our iniquities have [d]risen above our heads and our guilt has grown even to the heavens. 7 Since the days of our fathers to this day we have been in great guilt, and on account of our iniquities we, our kings and our priests have been given into the hand of the kings of the lands, to the sword, to captivity and to plunder and to [e]open shame, as it is this day. 8 But now for a brief moment grace has been shown from the Lord our God, to leave us an escaped remnant and to give us a peg in His holy place, that our God may enlighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving in our bondage. 9 For we are slaves; yet in our bondage our God has not forsaken us, but has extended lovingkindness to us in the sight of the kings of Persia, to give us reviving to raise up the house of our God, to restore its ruins and to give us a wall in Judah and Jerusalem.

10 “Now, our God, what shall we say after this? For we have forsaken Your commandments, 11 which You have commanded by Your servants the prophets, saying, ‘The land which you are entering to possess is an unclean land with the uncleanness of the peoples of the lands, with their abominations which have filled it from end to end and with their impurity. 12 So now do not give your daughters to their sons nor take their daughters to your sons, and never seek their peace or their prosperity, that you may be strong and eat the good things of the land and leave it as an inheritance to your sons forever.’ 13 After all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and our great guilt, since You our God have requited us less than our iniquities deserve, and have given us an escaped remnant as this, 14 shall we again break Your commandments and intermarry with the peoples [f]who commit these abominations? Would You not be angry with us [g]to the point of destruction, until there is no remnant nor any who escape? 15 O Lord God of Israel, You are righteous, for we have been left an escaped remnant, as it is this day; behold, we are before You in our guilt, for no one can stand before You because of this.”

 

As was the case with Ezra’s fellowship, compromise and outright disobedience by church leadership to God’s clear instructions can be messy and ugly to clean up before watching worldly eyes,  but  this still does not let our church leadership off the hook for carrying through with the cleanup, nor does it justify that the immorality remain hidden, because it is a fallacy that it will remain hidden.    Cleanup is the unavoidable cost of restoring both the integrity and Spirit-led potency (salt and light) among the culture that God expects of His church, and especially of its leadership.    Ezra’s fellowship readily obeyed because they saw exactly what was at stake in the survival of Judah as a nation.    There was an ugly, public sending away (restitutional divorcing)  of over one  hundred pagan wives and their children that probably caught immense cultural “flak” among the nations from whence those wives originated–flak that would far exceed anything the church would likely experience from an equivalent move today.    The bible tells us in Ezra chapter 10 that this sending away included 17 pastors’ wives,  6 church board wives, a worship leader’s wife and 87 wives from the rest of the congregation and all their children.    It would have been far better to obey God upfront;  to not have the massive cleanup to face at the cost of public scandal / church shrinkage.    Nevertheless, the nation of Judah fully and promptly embraced the publicly painful program of restitution and repentance — and their Divine reward was the dramatic healing of their land for ceasing and purging all life ways which misrepresented God in His holy, sacred covenant with all of them (and with all of us) .  Neither is God likely to give the American church a “pass” on this one.

 

Related post: Rev. Al Mohler

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall | Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce

www.standerinfamilycourt.com